Why Hillary Clinton should go by “Head Bitch in Charge” for the rest of the campaign
Hillary’s people have been screwing up this last cycle since she got sick. The Opponent is like this hurricane of Orange Fanta, spinning around the country with increasing speed, spitting absolute incoherence and untruths and propaganda. The response I’ve seen this week have been about, “OMG, he is sooo wrong. Wrong wrong wrong! Marsha Marsha Marsha! Here, let me show you the links.”
This is a loser. Trump’s actually handled the sickness thing masterfully. Is he completely full of shit? Oh please, stop asking silly questions. Not the point. The guy goes on Dr. Suntan McWeighloss’ “America’s Got HEALTH!” show and claims that moving his hands while talking is his daily exercise. Actually claims that his testosterone is at 98,312 on a 1 to 10 scale. Claims that 6'2", 267, and unathletic is “a little overweight,” when it’s actually 34 pounds into the obese BMI range. Says he never gets colds and can sink 97% freethrows from the line. Dr. McWeightloss, knowing he’s making a major ally in a forthcoming media reality, uses his gravitas as a cardiothoracic surgeon and gasps, “Awesome!!!”
HRC’s campaign says that her coumadin is well dosed, and by the way, he’s wrong about NATO and…
They missed it. Trump is running the classic demagogue strongman play. The Peeple, they want Strength. They want Confidence. They want a Good Story. And they sure as hell don’t care if objective reality gets in the way. In North Korea, they teach kids that Kim Il Sung — the Great Father — fought the Japanese personally as an individual soldier, vanquishing entire divisions with his rifle. And when he was out of ammo, he pulled down pine cones from Korea’s holy trees, threw them at the Japanese and they *became grenades in midair.* This is taught as fact, even though many, many botanists would demure on the pine cone explosives thing. The demagogue knows that the Peeple will follow strength, even fake strength.
Here’s my tactics for the next week. Hildäbeast needs to chug some Ensure and maybe some anabolic steroids with an Adderall chaser. She can then have her staff refer to her as “Madam HBIC.” When the first reporter asks what it stands for, she looks at the nearest camera in a blood-red shiny pantsuit and growls, “IT MEANS HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE!” And then she needs to make out with that reporter (gender unimportant), punch another one for no reason, and walk off to her next campaign event.
Then, in the next press conference she needs to laugh about how Trump is too weak for the job. Sure, he PUFFS UP a little in the beginning. (Does he take a pill? We don’t know.) But he’s not strong enough to follow through. GET THE JOB DONE. He GOES SOFT EARLY. Ask his many wives — he’s a guy who has a tendency to quit mid-way. Look at all the businesses he drives into bankruptcy. He needs TO BE RESCUED AND PROTECTED by the court from his own obligations. Yup, sure he talks a good game, but does he have the STAYING POWER? Well, with Madam HBIC, no need to worry about that. She’s in for the duration.
You can’t answer subliminal mythical suggestion with facts. They want a show of strength. And the facts are, women can look tough as nails. Ask the PLO about Golda Meir. Ask the Argentinians about Maggie Thatcher. Get the woman a shiny red pantsuit and a katana brooch.
