Chum

I was recently asked to vet first-round proposals at “Shark Tank” style competition. I was honored by this request; I’m certainly a critical person, and I like to think that I have a breadth of knowledge with which to apply that criticism.

Naturally, some of these proposals were very solid, original ideas that were perfect for this sort of competition. Other ideas were good in theory, but failed to explain the execution. Many proposals were…well…chum.


It started off with target markets…

Our target market is very wide. For instance, it could be someone as young as 8 years old and someone as old as 80 years old.

Only ages that start with 8 need apply!

A big percentage of our target market is going to be college campuses all around the world. There are colleges everywhere so we have a vast potential market.

Everywhere!

My target market will be people of age group 16 to 30 years old. There are more than one billion people in the world who are in the age group of 16 to 30.

One Billion!


Our target demographic includes both males and females, ranging from teenagers to adults.

So…everyone who’s read Harry Potter? I think you're onto something.

Our target audience would also include smartphone owners between the ages of 18–54. Mainly because that age group goes out to eat and shop more often.

Somewhere along the line, these applicants became convinced that the target market needs to be BIG. Like, everyone big. Your description of a target market should serve to convey the means and methods that you will use to get in front of that target market. A smaller target market means a more focused approach to gaining your first customers. Yes, Coca-Cola might have a target market of nearly everyone, but also the ad dollars to spend on a Super Bowl spot. You do not.


You're all a unique snowflake…

The [product] is a new and innovative production[?]

Phew, I was scared that it was old and unoriginal.

The scope of my website exceeds expectations

Whose?

It is unique because It has not been thought of or built yet.

Thank you.

[the product] will become everyone’s favorite item, but more than an item, it will become a desired gadget for all those who [love what the product does].

Confidence is sexy?

I would hope, by the nature of the competition, that your idea is unique and hasn't been thought of before, at least to your knowledge. Unfortunately, it is not up to you to decide that everyone will love it and that it will bring lasting peace to the multiverse.


I am very smart…

The [product] was created from intense brainstorming, where Socratic questioning concepts was utilized and as result we created a solid solution and a product that more than [do its thing], is intelligently space-optimized.

This guy…


Everyone likes new.

I would make sure that the marketing and advertising part of the company is always on top and staying ahead and above the competition.

Furthermore, we have over three hundred followers on our Facebook page

If you whip out your thesaurus, polish your participation trophy, and tell me how you’re the best, you're probably not.


Not to go off on a tangent, but…

And advised him to watch T.V show (The Big Bang Theory) to improve his listening skills.

Although Net Neutrality is once again the law of the land we are nervous that this could change and we would not survive the added costs of a non-neutral net.

What incredible consideration! It sounds like these people have really inspected the problem from every angle! Just not the ones that I care about.

I created a project, all the base and how to feed and work, and a few layouts of an app.

Huh?

This is what is really is all about.

What?


But if you've made it this far, my dear reader, you will now be rewarded with the single greatest slice of text I had the pleasure of reading in 100 pages of proposals.

One other competitor we were able to find was [competitor]; a personalized [product] but upon viewing their website, grammatical errors were spotted.
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