The 5 Most Common Lies Told by Millennials
Millennials. We’re an interesting bunch. We want to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. We hate Kanye West yet applaud his music. We want to find ourselves but can’t stand to be in our own company. We’re basically a walking paradox. And we’re all guilty of telling each other the same little white lies. So here they are, in no particular order, the most common fibs we tell our peers, and ourselves.
“I didn’t get your email!”
Yea you did dude, I know how email works. Now, what most likely happened is either you got my email and you ignored it or you got my email, read it and then trashed it. There is a slight possibility my email went to your spam folder, but considering I’m not a Nigerian Prince, it’s very unlikely.
If you ever wonder how your favorite blogger gets to “inbox zero” so quickly it’s because he/ she deletes half their emails. Although, Nassim Taleb once pointed out that ignoring your inbox is a great filter to find out what’s really important. If it truly is important, then the person will follow up. And when they do, make sure you don’t tell them you never got their first email.
“I’m in the Uber and on my way!”
The other day I was on my couch, leading Newcastle to glory on FIFA 16 when Corey hit me on the WhatsApp Bling. He let me know he had arrived at our designated brunch spot. I told him I was in the Uber. But what I meant to say was “ok, let me get my pants AND then I’ll call an Uber.”
I don’t think we mean to be late. But rather an over-reliance on transportation apps gives us a false sense of accessibility. Yes, you can get an Uber or a Lyft in 3 minutes. But it’s still going to take you 27 minutes to get to the Upper East Side. My bad Corey!
“I’ll just watch one more episode.”
Outside of one or two sports games a week (go Raiders) and maybe one episode from a TV series, my television stays off. Except not always. Binge watching a Netflix series is about as normal for our generation as meeting a significant other on Tinder or asking if the strip club takes Apple Pay. My latest kryptonite was “The Knick.” And I regret nothing. Partly because I watched most of it during an international flight.
We all have similar stories about deluding ourselves and thinking we can watch just one episode.
“I don’t know what happened bro. I put on “Peaky Blinders” after dinner and then next you know, I blacked out and it was 5am.”
I know that feel, especially when all the episodes are available right then and there. But if we ever want to make it to brunch on time, we should probz curb our excitement for the latest season of “Game of Thrones.” At-least until AFTER brunch.
“I’ll hit you up man!”
An exchange student in one of my college writing courses once lamented that Americans were flakes. She said that people always tell her that they will call her or “hit her up” but they never do.
I explained to her how “I’ll hit you up” or one of its derivatives, is just a polite phrase to end a conversation. What we really mean to say is “I’ll call you or make plans with you at some undetermined time in the future.” I get it, you get it, it’s a pleasantry. But for those outside our borders, it can be very confusing. But it’s not as bad as the next one.
“Yea, don’t worry, I’ll be there!”
The “I’ll be there” promise also known as the “San Francisco Yes” is infuriating and makes me hate myself and my friends even more. We’re all afraid of missing out on cool things and as such, we wait until the last possible moment before we commit to anything. That’s why planning for New Years sucks. We plan shop and loosely commit to all available options until it comes down to it. We try to maximize our evenings and nights out.
But what ends up happening is we enter a state of paralysis by analysis and eventually, we end up regretting our eventual choice. Because no matter how much fun we’re having at Event A, we’ll be left wondering if maybe we should have gone to Event B or Event C. I’m finally over it. I just do cool things with my friends. Should something else come up, well next time bro. I’ll hit you up.
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Eric M. Ruiz oversees sales and strategy in LatAm for Waze, the Social GPS and Navigation app that was acquired by Google in 2013. A native of Modesto, Calif., Eric now resides in New York City and struggles to make brunch plans because he just wants to get through one more episode of “The Knick.”
