Letters to Faber #8 — F**K Final Fantasy XIII

Eric M Hunter
Aug 28, 2017 · 3 min read

My word! Never in all my life have I heard such language come from a man’s mouth.

Final Fantasy XIII released December 2009 in Japan and March 2010 worldwide for the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 and would later see releases on Android and iOS (crazy). Selling 1.7 million copies in Japan, XIII became the fastest selling entry in history of the series. By January 2013, sales of 6.6 million worldwide. Also looks like it’s received high praise amongst the gaming journals: 39/40, A-, 9/10, 8.9/10, 7.9/10. They released a sequel a couple years later. Hmm… Everything seems to be in order.

So why f*** Final Fantasy XIII? Was it a game you never got to play at its release and when you finally did, those rose tinted glasses were a bit too thin? Could it have been a title in the series that you personally were really hyped for but you didn’t like it and you can’t believe how anyone could?

It reminds me of my relationship with Banjo-Kazooie for the Nintendo 64. When I first play BK, I felt like the game was made for me. Colorful characters that are almost cartoon like, funny voices, lots of unique moves to unlock and use, the many mishaps of Mumbo’s magic that still gets you to the point you needed (and the washing machine? Classic.) Amazing music. It’s exactly what I wanted to play after Super Mario 64. If Mario showed how to do platformers in 3D, BK was the masterwork.

But some people absolutely hate Banjo for all of those reasons. It’s too cartoony, it’s too predictable, there’s too much to collect. All of these is what made me enjoy the game so much. I was confused. And usually the ones who poo poo Banjo are the ones who love Nuts and Bolts for the Xbox 360 which took a turn in genre and made it into a vehicle crafter. I did not like Nuts and Bolts for that very reason: it wasn’t Banjo.

Other than the handheld games, the story stops there. Rare went on to create new IPs and the story of lovable bird and bear were put away. But you still heard voices wanting a spiritual successor. Enter Yooka-Laylee.

Developed by former Rare staff, Playtonic Games, set out to do just that: recreate the essence of games like Banjo-Kazooie and Donkey Kong 64 from our youth. They took to Kickstarter and gained huge ground. The game was released and for all intents and purposes they succeeded. The end result? People complained about all the features that made those games great: too childish, too much to collect, too old school.

It’s confusing to me because you hear people say they want something then when they get it, they don’t want it anymore. Typical JD from Scrubs type stuff. It makes you think “well, what do you want?” And the answer is, they don’t know.

Maybe I should give Nuts and Bolts another try. And maybe you should give FF XIII another chance as well. Or not. I’m still going to play BK once a year.

  • Hunter

P.S. Remember those graphing calculators from high school? Man, weren’t those things amazing. You could do all sorts of stuff with them like equations, variables… other… math stuff… and games! You could play games too. Fun games. Games of collecting things. And… other games too.

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Eric M Hunter

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Family 1st. Writer, podcaster, fan of games, storyteller. Just getting started.

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