Thoughts on leadership

I attended a talk this week on engineering management put on by Plato. Overall it was great. I really appreciate the time and effort going into combatting the systemic issue of insufficient management and leadership training for IC’s.

“But…”

There were a couple of questions lobbed at the panel and I wasn’t satisfied with some of the textbook/anti-pattern answers.

Even some of the questions were loaded and based on bad assumptions. But they were taken at face value.

So I’m writing my thoughts down here with the intent of stimulating some conversation.

“How do you motivate a team to do something they don’t want to do, like work over the weekend?”

The bad assumption here is that your team works for their manager.

Ultimately, nobody really does work for their manager. Doing work for your manager is doing work for fear of some negative consequence. I don’t think I need to re-hash the problems with negative motivation.

So why are they going to work over the weekend on a shitty problem they don’t want to solve? One important reason is: for their peers. For that person in sales that is working on (or perhaps already sold… which never happens…) a deal that’s going to change the company. Because they’re excited on this journey they’re on with equals that they like. People from whom they strive to earn respect.

They’re doing it because they feel like they’re engaged and learning.

What does this mean for you as a manager? You’ve got to connect your resources to meaning and purpose. Connect them to people that they want to make happy. Give your resources ownership in their day-to-day.

Get out of the way.

If you’re doing your job as a manager, you’re identifying risks that might cause a fire down the road. You’re giving your resources the knowledge they need to see that for themselves and avoid it… or strategically embrace it.

“How do you manage a mediocre employee you don’t want to fire?”

This is a loaded question and I think represents the toxicity of extreme high performance culture.

While there are a number of ways to define mediocracy, in this context the implication here was “Someone that is getting their work done, but not pushing any boundaries or over delivering.”

High performance culture is good. When it helps us get shit done, fast. But when it’s extreme, “meets expectations” is grounds for termination. How the hell did we get here?

I spent my 20’s always reaching for the next step. It served me well in some cases. But it made me an insufferable asshole. (I can still be an asshole. But I think I’m sufferable in my old age.) I’ve seen where people get so focused on the next title or next promotion that they lose focus on what’s important — to actually like what you’re doing and who you do it with.

What’s important is to be fulfilled. For many individuals, that means to be an extremely high performer. And that’s OK, for them.

So how do you manage a mediocre employee? With enthusiasm, love, and support. The same way you manage every other kind of employee. (Except the toxic ones.)

Not everyone you hire is going to be in the office 14 hours a day. Not everyone is going to churn out PR’s every day that make you want to fall to your knees and chisel the release notes in stone tablets so that future generations can marvel in their glory. That’s OK. Embrace it.

“…make notes to bring up in my next 1:1…”

One of the panel questions was, “What was the worst mistake you made as a manager?”

A very enthusiastic panel speaker was quite open when he replied, “Humiliating someone in front of their peers.” Ouch. But his solution to this problem was to make notes to bring up in the next one on one.

His heart was in the right place — don’t embarrass someone accidentally.

But he veered too far in the wrong direction. Every second that ticks between a mistake and addressing that mistake is lost effectiveness in correcting it. The bad assumption here is that providing feedback has to be a negative experience.

Make a habit of pulling people aside after meetings. Make it a normal part of your day-to-day. Tell them what went well. Tell them what they can improve.

One-on-ones are not the time to enumerate all the things someone is doing wrong. You should be able to do that with your team members at any time. It’s a reserved time for you to connect with them so that when you need to have a conversation with them, you have a rapport.

If they want to bring up topics related to performance, let them.

The funny thing about people: most of them want to do well. If you’re doing your job as a manager, you’re giving them tools they need, providing business needs/expectations, connecting them with the right people, and offering support.

When you provide constructive feedback, you’re doing them a favor.

(I’m specifically excluding talking about toxic people in this post. That’s a topic for another day.)

I worked with a manager that had so much anxiety related to the 1:1 with his manager that he asked me to attend and mediate. This wasn’t because they are bad people. It represented an extreme level of relationship dysfunction, and is one of the reasons why I think the mentorship program is much-needed. Your team should look forward to their 1:1’s.

If you can’t enjoy a cup of coffee with somebody you probably see more than your spouse, something needs to change.