Prompt: You are looking down through the skylight as chefs prepare dinner for your ex-fiancées wedding.
I peer over the lip of the skylight and down onto the hungry guests. The hibachi chefs are prepped to begin their show. Dressed in black, I lay on my stomach and wait for my moment. Finally the maid of honor shuts the hell up and the best man gets up for his speech; the last speech of the night. I’m waiting for the end of it, for the toast of the happy couple.
Ever since my fiancée left me and our dog Fiddles last year, my only solace has been the quiet strength of our schnauzer and the local PETA chapter. The wedding I was literally over right now was that of the man who murdered Harambe in cold blood. That bastard was an example of everything that was wrong in the world and he was going to pay for it!
The best man had moved on past his lewd jokes and was in the heartfelt part of the speech. Sensing the end, along with the hibachi chefs, I moved into position. They, by each table. Me, the edge of the skylight. I threw off my clothes, and smiled despite the chill.
“Dan and Charlotte, here’s to you!”
I crashed through the glass and swung towards the crowd now looking up at me. My harness tightened as the ropes grew taught. Swinging around the hall in my birthday suit I scream, “DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE!! WHOO!”
Euphoric because of my moment of justice! He kills an enraged gorilla threatening a human child, I swing naked from the ceiling at his wedding. Tit for tat. My euphoria, however, prevented me from noticing one of the ropes slipping. Too late to secure myself via one of the other lines I fall ten feet down onto the bridal party table and land directly on the cake in front of the couple.
Everyone is silent, frozen. The arctic tundra is louder.
“Charles?” questions the bewildered bride.
It was my ex.
“Charlotte?” I stammer. “What are you doing here?”
“Getting married you idiot! Why did you do this for me? This is the second time!”
“No! I swear I didn’t know this was your wedding!”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“Avenging the murder of Harambe?”
“Tsk! I was right to leave you. Best decision I ever made.”