Cool Riffs vs. Hot Riffs — How Marvel Comics Turned My 6 Year Old Into an AC/DC Super-fan.

I got a six year old who likes classic rock. I did not teach him this. I listen to 90’s skate punk, metal, and rap. He didn’t find a stack of vinyl in my room. “Son, who taught you how to listen to Zep and Foghat” “I learned it from watching you!”

So how did this happen? It’s a simple progression. And I am guessing I am not the only parent with kids who want classic rock. Goes like this:

And then cue the credits and Black Sabbath’s iconic Iron Man song intro riff. “Dun, dun, dun dun dun, dununununu nu nu, dun nu nu.”

Son: “Dad can I hear the Iron Man song?!”
Dad: “Uh sure?”
Dad, thinking to self: I guess there’s no swear words or anything real bad.
Flip on Apple Music and start an Iron Man station.

Now think about Iron Man 2. Remember the opening scene?

The movie opens up with Iron Man flying through the sky and landing at Stark Expo to what? AC/DC, Shoot to Thrill.

Son: “Dad can we listen to Shoot to Thrill?!”
Dad: “Well, yeah sure! Go Avengers!”
Cue up Apple Music and go to AC/DC Back in Black.

Now, most classic rock is pretty tame compared to a lot of radio music nowadays. There’s some innuendo that goes right over his head. In fact, the level of innuendo snuck into things aimed at kids is pretty widespread. Maybe it’s always been this way and we only start to realize it once puberty hits. I certainly don’t remember understanding what “Whole Lotta Love” meant.

So that takes us to today where I was thoroughly rekt by a 6 year old.

The Rektoning

The conversation went exactly like this. A word or two might be off, but this is what happened on the way to school.

Dad turns on Tool’s song“Lateralus” on the ride to school. Good, complex rock music with totally safe lyrics. Poetic, even.
Son: “Dad, I don’t want Tool, I want AC/DC.”
Dad, thinking to self: –He’s Already recognizing Tool by sound…–
Dad: “Why not Tool? Tool is good!”
Son: “Tool doesn’t have riffs.”
Dad, thinking to self: –Riffs? How does he know riffs? Or even, what riffs are good or bad. He’s six, right? I forget when you start caring about riffs.–
Dad: “Oh son, Tool has riffs, Tool has all the riffs. And odd time signatures!”
Son: “Well, I guess Tool has cool riffs. But AC/DC has -hot- riffs.”
Dad, thinking to self: –Oh shit, I just got rekt.–
Dad flips back over to AC/DC. Hells Bells comes on.
Dad: “Don’t say hell at school.”
Son: “Ok.”
Son: “Dad, I want an electronic guitar. Not a non-electronic one. An electronic one. I want to play riffs.”
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