A New Season — Goodbye to My Baby

It’s the first week of September. Labor Day has come and gone and now, as I lay in bed listening to the rhythmic music of the crickets through our open window, I feel the cool evening breeze that September brings. As welcome as the crisp air is, I sigh. Tomorrow a new season begins.
While fall may not officially begin for a few more weeks, our family is entering a new season of life as we say goodbye to our family of three and prepare welcome our precious, second little boy. Saying hello to our new little blessing also means we must also say goodbye to so much that is familiar.
This new season of life means that our first born will be starting preschool for the first time. No longer our “baby” (although still very much a baby in our hearts), our first born will soon be a big brother and a school-boy. It means saying goodbye to my baby and hello to my little boy. He’s now going to spend three days a week surrounded by new friends and loving teachers but away from me, the woman who’s taken care of his every need for the last two years. I won’t be there to kiss every scrapped knee or to remind him to look where he’s walking so he doesn’t trip and fall. I won’t be there to share in every laugh or to wipe away all of his tears (or for him to kiss away mine).
As this new season begins, the previous one comes to an end. All we’ll be left with is the memories. I know that this new season will bring new exciting adventures and special memories with our newest addition, something we wanted so badly, but I’m still not ready to say goodbye. I’m not ready for this season to end. My heart cannot let go.
This new season means saying goodbye to our sporadic adventures and welcoming adventures scheduled around school days. It means letting my little boy go (and letting some of my control go), as I guide him to becoming more independent and less dependent on me. It means welcoming new freedoms while he’s at school but also saying goodbye to the closeness that I treasure so deeply, like carrying him on my hip all day because, even at two, he wants nothing more than to be as close to his Mama as he can be. This new season means a lot of goodbyes and I’ve never been good at goodbyes.
Whether I’m ready or not, this new season of life is coming upon our family. And although my heart aches and I feel unable to say goodbye I know that I must direct my focus on all the wonderful new things that this new season will bring us. So I grab a box of tissues and dig down deep to find the strength to smile and welcome the change but also the courage to say goodbye.