“Catching Up” is Irrelevant
Katie Siegel
5949

Don’t ever underestimate me!

I’m heartened to read this as I sit here with just two weeks left of my coding bootcamp, trying to figure out why mongo, mongoose and express are at war with each other and me and won’t just sit down and play nice. I’m moving from bedside nursing into tech to try and build apps that are patient focused ways to enable them to become their best advocate. I code for almost twenty hours a day trying to catch up with the rest of my cohort who have all coded before and have finished taking their different stack certifications.I ended up in tears when I panicked during my first certification and couldn’t make four boxes line the hell up at the bottom of a webpage during the early stages of school. It wasn’t until I finally realized that sleep is good, and to go from no coding or tech experience whatsoever to being able to parse data provided from different sources to create a frankenstonian version of a MEAN stack or LAMP that I finally felt free. Instead of wallowing in my misery over my exam farce, I did something purely for me. I made PONG! One page of html and javascript , no bells and whistles but it works and it keeps score and it made me weep because I did it. I was not looked at as someone with a chance in hell of doing something by my other cohort because I wasn’t grasping it as quick as them, but I kept my head down and kept trying and reading and playing and have passed a certification and can out algorithm the most talented in my class. I just do it quietly because I did it by myself, for myself and its something I share with only those that have been in my corner from the get go. I lost a husband to poor medical care and medication reconcilliation and that is what drives me to put aside the ego and the give up mentality that I would have succumbed to before finding the joy in creating art that only I can envision until its on the screen. So, i guess he’s the one to thank that on a journey to keep another family from going through what mine did, I found that I am able to think this way, process this way and create this way . Thanks for the indulgence, and thank you for the post.

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