How Do You Fit 30 Years In A Moment?
My Last Words Were Nothing At All
The nurse called for me. She told me my father was beginning to slip away. I should come down now. I bolted down the stairs and towards our bathroom. My father was sitting down, his eyes were open, but nothing was there. They stared off into space.
She asked me if I had any last words to say to my father. I just stared blankly at him. No words came to me. Nothing at all. The moment passed and before I knew it the nurse was directing me to help move my father.
We moved him from the bathroom to a couch in our living room. She asked me if I wanted to perform CPR and showed me how to do it. I made a half-hearted effort, but I could see he was already gone. He had passed after that moment I stared blankly at him and said nothing.
At a final moment when it counted to really say something, I was silent. Not only was I silent, I was totally blank. No thoughts, no words, nothing came to me at all.
My father and I had never really communicated well. It was one of those complicated things you encounter in your life. It’s a well-worn reality, but you can’t really explain its nature and why it exists.
I was the youngest child and had come along much later in his life. In this stage of life he dedicated his world…
