Why I Am Unapologetically Boring
My life is one of action and adventure. It’s like last night. Me and my wife had an early dinner and went for an hour long walk around the city after our meal. I came home watched a comedy show on HBO a feel asleep before it was over at 10pm. Crazy I know.
I woke up at 5:30am this morning and did my morning meditation. I made some pour over coffee with some heavy cream added in and now I am writing this little article. My day will consist of teaching and training people in addition to doing my own training. I won’t make the headlines and nobody outside of my gym will have any idea about what I am doing unless I make an instagram clip.
After I write this article I will do some listening on my audiobook and get closer to the end of Sapiens. Before going to the gym I will do a little fight and fitness research online. At the gym I will do my morning mobility and bodyweight routine before my first client.
My work schedule for today is some jiu jitsu drilling and light sparring at 10am with a client. Then 2 clients doing some fitness at 11am and 12pm. I am hoping to get in about 20 minutes of stickfighting and 20 minutes of hitting the bags at 1pm. After that 4 hour period of work I will take a 4 hour Siesta.
This will consist of an acupuncture treatment around the corner and probably a little nap while letting the needles do their thing. I will go get a bone broth and then do some more reading, maybe a little meditation and get some sunshine in Washington Square Park.
Then head back to the gym to teach a fitness session to some clients and a jiu jitsu session. After I hang out for a bit I will come home and eat a nice meal of salmon, asparagus, and mixed greens. This crazy day will be topped off with some video study or some more reading and perhaps some mindless tv show to turn off my brain for the evening.
Pretty much everyday of my life follows this pattern. There is always some differences. Sometimes I have to teach 3 or 4 more sessions but this is a pretty standard day for me. There are always some variations but nothing that disrupts my flow too much. I simply wont allow anyone or anything to do that on a regular basis.
I live right across the street from my gym so my commute is a 3 minute walk. So there is no need to do any other form of locomotion except walking on most days. On occasion I may ride my bike somewhere or take the subway or a taxi depending upon where I need to go. Most days I am in my hood and I am mostly between the gym, my apartment, and walking around to get food.
My gym is simple but has everything I want. The most important thing for me are the people who come and train there. Everybody has a good vibe and there is no drama. It allows for me to work on the skills that interest me in a stress free environment. I have essentially created my own little ecosystem of happiness and by all standards my life is probably considered incredibly boring by most people. While I can’t argue with them about my life I will argue with most people that exciting is an overrated word.
I find exciting usually carries more stress than it is worth. I spent a lot of time going out when I was younger. I really always hated it. If I had the financial means to own a big house and host parties, I probably would have never gone out to nightclubs more than 100 times in my entire life. Here in New York I went out about 300 nights per week when I was single, which was the first 8 years or so. I always hated the pre drinking, getting dressed up, using hair products, bumping, shoving, jostling for position to meet girls, dancing (which for me meant standing there while others danced), drinking, dumb conversation about how much fun we are having that we need to talk about it and act really excited, acting interested in whatever in the fuck the girl is talking about, trying to seal the deal and on the list goes. For me the only thing worse than nightclubs was going on a date. It was always so painful to act interested when really all I wanted was to have sex.
Most people I meet tend to define exciting as essentially trying to get laid. Nothing wrong with that as I spent a good portion of my life pursuing this path. However I think we really exaggerate something that is much more simple than we let it be. Most people in our society are sexually repressed and those that aren’t tend to be sexually obsessed. I think both sides of that coin are bad. I think sex needs to be treated like food, sleep, and career. Part of a good life, not the sole definition of a good life.
I’m happy that I am now married and I get to save so much energy that most people waste in this area. If you are rich and famous and do nothing all day then I totally get it. However I am not rich and famous. I am doing well for myself but I have a bunch of things that I want to achieve and those things require my time and effort. I need at least 7 hours of sleep to be able to perform well each day. I typically like to have a nap of an hour or so in addition to that. That leaves me with 16 hours per day. I typically spend 4to 8 of those hours working (which for me means teaching and training). I spend at least an hour per day for my own training, but also I get a couple of hours of training with my clients and classes. Then I have the other 8 to 12 hours free to do with as I please.
Here is the thing about me. I find that things that are exciting for most are boring to me and what is exciting to me is boring for most people. In that lies the secret to my happiness and gives me my ability to make a really good living. Most people are pursuing money, material, and / or more attractive sexual partners. I’m satisfied in those areas.
I’m not anxious and needing to move somewhere new or find someone new to date, who will bring excitement to my life. I’m not looking at getting a bigger and better home or buying the newest BMW or whatever. I’m just working on my craft. Each day I get better at it and I have a better understanding about how to make others better at it.
So for many people who come to train fitness or martial arts with me, they get a kick out of their hour they spend with me. So ironically my boring lifestyle gives them a sense of excitement and wonder. It is one of the hours of their week that they really look forward to. It is the same way I feel when I go to get bodywork done or take a lesson in gymnastics, or some martial art.
The real secret to live doing what you love is make the work something you would do for free if necessary, which for me means to make each session interesting. Some people like to do the same things but the conversation is stimulating. Some people like to add variety and that makes things fun. Some people are injured and that requires some adjustments and observations. Overall almost all sessions are interesting. If there is a continual pattern of the sessions being dull I usually do away with the client. Life is short and my work makes up most of my day. I want to be sure that my work is enjoyable and rewarding.
I hope that all of you reading this are making your money by doing something you would honestly do for free if you didn’t need to make money. I hope that you are in relationships that leave you satisfied and happy and not looking for someone better so you can leave the someone you are with. I hope that your friends are people you can rely on in times of need and not just people who use you for whatever they need when convenient. I hope that you maintain your health with the right balance of healthy nutrition, vigorous exercise and deep restful sleep. I hope that you maintain a connection to something greater than yourself via meditation, prayer, or going to some group. I hope your life is defined by real goals or themes if you prefer that inspire you to wake up each day ready to do your best work possible.
That is what I do each day in a nutshell. I focus on making the day to day existence at my work and with my wife as enjoyable as possible. Because that is what life really is. Day to day existence. It’s not the carnival amusement park people try to make into. So many problems people have in life are created because of their own inner chaos and incessant desires. If you like distractions and chaos good for you. Just stay the fuck away from me. Or as Kendrick Lamar puts it, “bitch don’t kill my vibe.”