Something about this doesn’t ring true for me.
I completely agree with the message that overcoming challenges builds confidence and leads to satisfaction. These challenges may make you uncomfortable at first, and likewise “suck.” Once you’re on the other side though, you feel hugely empowered, and that confidence will linger. You’ve earned it.
But — I think that this idea of “first love yourself” stems more from the notion that you have to have some belief in yourself to reach challenging goals. If you feel like a failure or suffer from depression or self-hatred, it seems unlikely you’d be able to muster up the ability to overcome these challenges in the first place.
Perhaps you first overcome those feelings, which is a hard, sucky thing in itself, which then gives you the confidence to pursue other difficult goals. But I don’t think being kind to yourself and achieving success are mutually exclusive, nor should it be discounted as garbage.