what i would say to my best friend if my best friend was me
Mark Rowland suggested I try this writing exercise. I find myself advising and guiding others, but am I practicing what I’m preaching? apparently my advice has helped a lot of people so it might be interesting for me to pretend I’m advising someone else whose in my shoes and try to remove all the emotional BS. if you think this exercise might help you you should try it too :)
IM PROUD OF YOU! look at all of the changes you were able to make for the better. you will ALWAYS have a new set of problems. problems are good when they are the product of work. as long as you put one foot in front of the other, you will figure those problems out. you are more than capable of the creative thinking necessary to get yourself out of ANY seemingly impossible situation. you are doing a good job of eradicating all of the non-work related problems you have control over. you can also get work stuff under control… ONE STEP AT A TIME! everything is not going to happen today! you are going to have to accept reality. SHELF what isn’t possible and FOCUS on what you can do. be PROUD of what you did do and be READY to do the next thing. i never wanted to listen to this but i think you should because it’s the truth low key: all of your problems right now are good problems. being confused is good for you. being scared is good for you. if you move forward with fixing your problems, you will learn stuff. that’s kinda why we do things to begin with. to learn. so just get ready for the lessons, accept them and keep it moving. as long as you move forward you will get closer to your goals.
you can work 18 hour days. i’ve seen it. i know your work ethic and what you are capable of. i am sad to see you so exhausted but i know that comes from years of breaking your back for your company. what are you going to break your back for now? maybe it’s time to do that for yourself. stop trying to help other people. give yourself some energy. you deserve it. there is not a man walking this earth that deserves that any of that from you right now. it’s your time. embrace that. appreciate every moment of it. stop looking at your “unsupervised time” as a hinderance. you should feel empowered to shape your 24 hours in a day however you’d like. i know you have curiosities that you haven’t tapped into. i know you’re sad you don’t spend enough time talking to your brother. do courses on Coursera. play games on Lumosity. keep learning Spanish on Duolingo. get off twitter. learn stuff. experience stuff. meet new people. make sure- fray aside- that you are using your non-work time for YOU. you haven’t been to a museum in a minute. go! make sure you go for a walk every day. take care of yourself. you didn’t for so many years and that’s a lot of the reason why you’re feeling the way you do now. but that’s ok. it’s normal! you are normal!
please remember that you have the power. you must speak up for yourself. you must put your foot down. you are a valuable asset to anyone’s life- personally or professionally and you must demand that respect. try to be conscious of rapid emotional reactions and tame them. you are only exhausting yourself. carefully assess your obstacles and think like Olivia Pope when you handle them. think about the bullshit Vince has had to deal with for the WWE. you KNOW that resilience is what makes an entrepreneur. you have been kicked down REPEATEDLY and always got back up and you will continue to do that every single day for the rest of your life. that’s how life goes boo! but you know how to come back swinging so do that. don’t let any one or any thing get in your head. stay focused. drop ANYTHING that isn’t helping your mental. your pockets come second. don’t break your back for money ever again. it’s not worth it. you will get paid more than you can ever imagine when you get your shit sorted and are working on what you are passionate about again. stay strong bb you gonna get there again!!!!
and lastly, don’t cry. it’s going to be ok! i promise. i really do. and i’ve never broken a promise i’ve made you before. i do not know anyone stronger and more capable of handling the bullshit, than you. you can do this. take your time. do not let anyone rush your process. do not rush yourself. breathe and love yourself and everything else will fall into place.
Damn I just read this and I’m crying…. I really needed to hear that. I was feeling insecure about my writing but this is raw. This is me. It feels good to share that, even with myself some months later.