Thoughts While Flying

What is that smell

What is that noise

What is that bright light

It’d be crazy if I died while reading “Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story” — I guess they’d never know

Who is kicking me

If I stare at them they’ll stop

Ugh it’s teens

Omg what if they think that dumb teen was the one reading this book when they find our bodies

I am so good at occupying my time

Wow I am so bored

Should I offer that woman a tissue

Don’t talk to me, don’t talk to me, don’t talk to me

There’s only 3 hours left of the flight — I can wait to pee

What am I supposed to do to prevent a blood clot again

Whoops I fell asleep listening to “My Favorite Murder” — who did that guy eat?

What’s going on

Wait why are the flight attendants all standing

Should I be worried

omg they’re having the choral group sing? WHY

I hope my face is properly conveying how angry I am

Oh, yep, that flight attendant definitely knew I was pissed

Big deal, I was in choral groups in high school too

Should I ask them if THEY ever sang at Carnegie Hall

I really hope I don’t die of a blood clot on this flight

Oh thank god, we’re landing.

Let’s never do this again.