So You Want to Start a Successful School?

In Arkansas, according to the Quality Charter Schools Act of 2013, charter schools were created in order to: “Improve student learning; Increase learning opportunities for students, with special emphasis on expanded learning experiences for students who are identified as low-achieving; Encourage the use of different and innovative teaching methods; Create new professional opportunities for teachers…; Provide parents and pupils with expanded choices…; and Hold the (charter) schools… accountable for meeting measurable student achievement standards.”

For the past few years, the highest-rated school in Arkansas has been one of these charter schools: Haas Hall Academy. US News & World Report also ranks Haas Hall Academy as #16 among charter schools, and #50 among high schools in the United States.

Clearly, Haas Hall’s special blend of innovations and opportunities is very effective! What can we learn from following their lead? How can we emulate their success as we seek to raise the level of public schools across Arkansas and the United States?

Ladies and gentlemen, my very first “listicle.” I call it, “How to Be the Next Dr. Martin Schoppmeyer, Jr. and Win the Education Game, in 27 Easy Steps.”

1. Start with money from the Walton Family Foundation. As Superintendent Schoppmeyer said in 2016, “There would not be a Haas Hall Academy without the Walton Family Foundation.” (Incidentally, 2016 was the year that the Walton Family Foundation distributed $190.9 million in K-12 education grants.)

2. Create your own private foundation so you can start raising money before you actually incorporate your charter school.

3. Keep it in the family. The only directors of your private foundation should be you, your mom, and your wife.

4. Get a waiver from the law about how school boards should be elected. You’re going to want to appoint people so you have control, even if you don’t technically have a vote.

5. Get a waiver from the law requiring established term lengths and limitations for school board members. Once you have the school board you want, you‘ll need to keep them around.

6. With you and your mom as “non-voting” directors of your school’s governing body, appoint five more “voting” members to the governing board of your new charter school, permanently. Make sure one is a former Tyson VP, one is the wife of a former Arvest VP, and one is the wife of a Walton Arts Center board member — and the president-elect of the Arkansas Bar Association. At the very least, make sure they are all rich.

7. Even if your school takes money from private donors every year, be sure to call their donations “government grants” instead of gifts or charitable contributions on your private foundation’s IRS form 990. “Anonymous,” Billie Jo Starr, the Walmart Foundation, and the Walton Family Foundation might like a little free press on the “annual fund” webpage of the state’s most successful school, but they probably don’t want the dollar amounts of their contributions to be disclosed on publicly accessible IRS documents.

8. Get your wife a job as a society writer for The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. She will be sure to present all of your sponsors and allies to the best possible advantage! You could even give her the title of “Executive Director of School-Community Relations” at your school — but don’t disclose her salary or her staff contract. She’s clearly a volunteer.

9. Get yourself elected to the Fayetteville City Council. Perhaps some of your school’s donors will help finance your campaign?

10. Talk the City of Fayetteville into spending $2.1 million from its reserve funds to build a parking garage for the Walton Arts Center. Also, help the Walton Arts Center re-negotiate its lease with the city on terms more favorable to the Waltons (i.e., donor confidentiality.)

11. Whatever the average superintendent makes in your state, add at least $100,000 to that number for your own salary. Collect wages from your governing board, plus two campuses of your charter school — plus the $700 you get each month from the City Council.

12. Don’t pay your mom or your wife. They are volunteers, remember? Your mom might be a “headmaster,” and your wife an “executive director,” but you’re definitely not paying them. At least, not in any of the disclosures you make to the public.

13. Tell the IRS you have 90 employees when you really only disclose 43 paid members of faculty/staff on the“state-required information” portion of your website. (If you need a specific example, check out the 2016–17 IRS form 990 for The Academy, Inc — and then compare it to the 2016–17 “District Salaries” schedule on the Haas Hall website. If The Academy, Inc. had 90 employees, their average salary would have been $38,640.02. But if they really only paid the 43 people listed on their school website, then the average Haas Hall salary was $112,823.19 for 2016–17.)

14. Get a waiver from the “Rules Governing the Distribution of Student Special Needs Funding and the Determination of Allowable Expenditures of These Funds” and all the state laws requiring public schools to implement Alternate Learning Environments for students with special needs. That way, if a prospective family asks what services you offer to students with special needs, you can honestly say that’s something your school doesn’t offer.

15. Enroll ABSOLUTELY ZERO students with special needs in your school. You’ll save a lot of money on licensed special ed teachers and mandatory accommodations. Plus, they won’t drag down your school’s average scores on standardized tests.

16. While you’re at it, don’t enroll any English Language Learners, either. If they’re not fluent in English, they might not do well on standardized tests.

17. Get a waiver from the state rule regarding “African American History And Racial And Ethnic Awareness” curriculum training. Even if your state has 1,046 public schools and only two of them have this waiver, go for it! Don’t worry about appearing to be racially insensitive. Your school won’t be serving people of color, anyway.

18. Maintain a black student population of only 1.1% and a Hispanic/Latino student population of 6.61% at your school, even if this isn’t representative of the demographics of your region.

19. If the Department of Education asks you why it appears that your school only serves affluent, white students, tell them you think it’s because your website shows pictures of students wearing uniforms with a school crest. Tell them you’re disappointed. The Department of Education will believe you, since everybody knows poor families and people of color are intimidated by coats of arms.

20. When you’re ready to expand into a new market, apply for a whole new charter to create a whole new school district (under the governance of your private foundation, of course.)

21. If the Department of Education straight-up asks you to give details regarding your plans for putting together a new school board for your new charter school district, say something like, “The Haas Hall Academy in Bentonville will be governed by a separate school board than Haas Hall Academy in Fayetteville. To allow for a seamless transition in governance, three (3) of the five (5) voting school board members on the Haas Hall Academy board in Fayetteville will serve on the Bentonville Board; two (2) new voting board members and two (2) non-voting board members will be selected to serve on the Bentonville board. The bylaws and all other corporate operating documents which need to be amended to accommodate the composition, election procedures, etc. of the Bentonville board will done prior to the hearing of this application by the Charter Authorizing Panel, and will be provided to the Department and the Panel at or in advance of the hearing.” But then…don’t do it. Just keep the same people in charge of both school districts — including you, the superintendent! (You might need a waiver from ACA § 6–13–109, but that’s easy to get.) There will be no adverse consequences, I promise. If a blogger calls Haas Hall Bentonville to submit a Freedom of Information Act request for a faculty contract, it will be totally fine if your school’s representative insists that Haas Hall Bentonville is part of the same school district as Haas Hall Academy. Gosh! Why do people get so picky?

22. If your students want to participate in inter-scholastic contests that technically require a “full time faculty member” or administrator to represent the school, just lie. Your school has students who take private music lessons and would do great at orchestra & band contests, but you don’t have the kind of budget or freedom in your schedule to make “orchestra” an actual class. Have your headmaster sign the registration paperwork representing volunteers as teachers — even though your state technically has specific laws defining who is a “teacher.” Nobody will stop you.

23. Compensate those “volunteers” by allowing them to operate their own nonprofit organization on your school property. Bonus points if three of the board members for that (totally unrelated) nonprofit work for Walmart, and its funding is provided by the Walmart Foundation.

24. Trust that nobody will check these things. After all, the statewide governing body for these inter-scholastic contests has never actually registered as a nonprofit corporation in your state, nor has it filed annual reports or submitted to annual audits — even though its revenue is $400,000 per year. They are doing just fine in the unregulated grey areas. Why would they care about your school’s registration paperwork?

25. If students don’t fit your ideal (in terms of academic success) drive them away. They will only drag your school’s test scores down if they stay. Your www.ratemyteachers.com reviews should read:

“I’ve observed the way (Dr. Schoppmeyer) treats students who need help, and I’m not impressed. If (as a student) you’ve already got your act together, you’ll fit in fine. If you (as a student) need an adult to help with behavior or motivation (even due to problems at home) — better pick someone who cares.”

“He’s got vision for the school and works to make delinquents leave which makes the whole school better.”

“Dr. Schoppmeyer is brilliant. Some kids are jealous because they aren’t smart enough to attend and they fail.”

These sort of reviews (and the administrative behavior they suggest) send a clear message to students who might actually require an education: “Stay away! Only the already educated need apply!” Thus, your school’s test scores are guaranteed to stay high.

26. Sit back and collect your winnings. Congratulations! You have created a successful school! (We can tell from your students’ standardized test results.) Instead of sending state resources to the districts that demonstrate the greatest need, your state will reward YOU for having the richest, most homogeneous student body in the state. That’s a $95.76 award per student. With 674 students in your two school districts, you have a bonus of $94,419.36 heading your way — every year. Enjoy!

27. Don’t rest on your laurels. Once your charter school is the winningest school in the state, incorporate a new nonprofit like “School Choice Arkansas,” and begin investigating what else you can do with public money.

Edited 12/16/18: Hey, does anybody know whether the Haas Hall school board members ever actually do these things? Arkansas state law says they should, and Haas Hall doesn’t have a waiver…

(8) Approve the selection of curriculum and ensure that students are offered and taught the courses of study and educational content required by the State Board of Education;

(9) Visit district schools and classrooms when students are present no less than annually and attend some events and functions;

(10) Obtain the training and professional development necessary to serve as active and informed members of the school district board of directors; and

(11) Do all other things necessary and lawful for the conduct of efficient free public schools in the school district.