Tips and tricks of online dating
Most people in the dating field at some point have used or continuously use TINDER. This swipe left/right principle looks so easy. Potential daters just swipe, match, text, meet and then who knows!? However, is it simple as it seems? There are so many other steps in between: what pictures to use, what to text, when to give your private number or not, when to meet or not to meet.
With more than 600 Tinder matches, thousands of messages (boring and heated), best and worst dates of my life, unexpected situations and a few dick pics — this is my TINDER experience, both good and bad through one wild summer. After some time, you realize that there are some patterns to follow so you don’t end up in horrible dates, although an awful date means a funny story to tell your friends afterwards (what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger). So, without further ado, let’s start…
- Pictures are essential on TINDER. The golden rules are: one picture to show your face, one full size to show your body type and at least one photo to show that you have some kind of active life (from pumping iron in the gym to partying). There are some patterns to be aware of, like a guy wearing a hat in every picture is most likely bald. A person who has only one blurry photo is most likely not the standard “good looking” person. A dater who uses doggy SNAPCHAT filters on himself probably will love himself the most. I am not sure if my profile is amazing, but I never had complaints. I have four photos. The first one is of my smiling face to show that I am not ugly, the second to show my full body to show that I am not fat, the third one is from my hitchhiking trip, and the last one is on the Iron Throne to show I like Game of Thrones. So remember: FACE, BODY, HOBBY. P.S. there’s no harm if you have a picture with a pet.
- TINDER is in a way like a job hunt and your motivation matters! The profile bio part shows what kind of person you are. If you don’t put any description or you write your bio in stupid emojis — why should I care to swipe you to the right? The profile and bio section is for you to be special and to add a caption to your social media post.
- If you like a guy, text him first! I know that might sound like another girl’s magazine tip “Take the first step,” but it is true. We girls still think we should wait until the guy makes the first move. NO WAY! Believe me, I have seen profiles of ‘the good’ guys, and girls text them like crazy. As a result, their messages section is overloaded. So the chances he will text you first are very low. Instead put in the effort because you are a 21st-century woman.
- Never text “Hi, how are you?” or just “Hi.” Sorry, but this is like an insult. If you expect an amazing message after that, good luck waiting for it. As the saying goes, treat others as you would like to be treated. Like I mentioned before, TINDER is similar to a job hunt, and there are many applicants left and right. You have to be somehow special to stand out. I guess my lines that were working most of the time were “Hi, since I am a modern woman, I will give you a chance to text me first now” or something dogged out from the guy’s profile.
- Before you meet, I would always recommend asking why they are on TINDER. I am always honest and say I am here to have romantic experiences and meet new people. I didn’t waste anybody’s time by saying I am looking for something serious and I didn’t hurt anybody in the end with leading some fragile flower on with promises that this will grow into something long term. There are different people with different purposes on TINDER, so just be straight forward because it’s reasonable to ask “Why are you on this platform?
- Do not put too much effort into the first date. TINDER is just another kind of social media where you shape your image, and you will never know who will actually show up. This is where one of my worst dates comes from. I matched with an easy-going and cute guy for a few days to find out that he actually lives three hours away from me. It was a bit sad, so I decided that I should put some effort and go see him. Oh, such a mistake… First of all, he looked slightly different from his pictures. He was so nervous and anxious. The guy was sweating all the time, he was not able to drink or eat because of stress, and the worst part, he kept asking if I was not annoyed by him every 20 minutes. My date then reassured me that he gets better on the 3rd or 4th date… We never made it to a 2nd date, and I had to spend four hours with him without a backup plan because I came to meet him in another city. I put some effort, and it was horrible. After that, I avoided going to another city and kept the first date simple — walking in a park or having a drink in my city. The first date is always a mystery, so better be yourself.
- Also, related to the 6th point (see above), it probably isn’t a good idea to let a guy visit you from another city, either. Of course, it depends on the bitch level you have in yourself, but my bitch level is pretty low, so I felt obligated not to ditch the guy after the first hour when you realize he is definitely not the one. That is why TINDER has a location feature. My suggestion once again — stick to your city.
- Have an escape plan! As I pointed out already, some dates just turn out to be a nightmare before you actually fall asleep. It is like a blind date, you never know who eventually will show up.
- You sometimes text with a guy, and you feel like you are hitting off! He is fun, the conversation is funny and you reach that point where you exchange your private numbers. That is ok, and it’s natural, but some people try to be creative just to get your number a bit too soon. I gave my number too soon a few times, but one time was particularly memorable. Right after I gave my number, the guy started sending his dick pictures. I will never know why, but I am grateful for the option to block people on WHATSAPP. I am not against sending nudes, but maybe not after the first hour of messaging.
- TINDER has an option to connect your INSTAGRAM to it. They don’t show your name, but still somehow three guys found me on Insta and messaged me. My first reaction was “do we know each other?” and all of them said that they saw me on TINDER and found me on Insta. One of the guys sent me a very memorable message “Is your ass fake?” There are weirdos out there. Fortunately, Insta has an option to block people, so no worries. You do not lose anything, just something to think about :)
- TINDER and INSTAGRAM also share one thing — some people are there just to get more followers. So no hard feelings if they don’t want to date you, and are only there to get famous! (Again most likely doggy SNAPCHAT filter candy beauties whose description says “Let’s chat on Insta: @cadyprettyboy”).
- Be real and honest. I know TINDER is pretty impersonal, but remember that behind the pictures are actually real people. After all those horrible dates I experienced, I always wrote a nice rejection message if I didn’t feel the connection and I don’t see this going anywhere. The earlier you rip the bandage off the easier it is! And that goes both ways. I also eventually feel better when a guy texts me that he’s sorry and doesn’t think we will meet again because he met someone else rather than ignoring me. After all, rejection is a redirection!
- The last one and the most important one is — BE OPEN! These tips are my personal opinion, and you might have different experiences so stick with your gut instinct! I know Tinder has a negative “fuck only” image, but this is also a new way of dating! I had the best dates of my life with TINDER guys, too. I visited new places (even a new city), tried new drinks, engaged in deep and open conversations, shared romantic kisses under the summer rain, had good and bad sex, and laughed a lot.
So be open to all kinds of experiences that might emerge! As I often say, a bad experience is a fun story to tell later!
Any tips we missed? Please share your experiences and continue tips and tricks in the comments :)
