My Condolences

A short play by Ernio Hernandez

A funeral home. Some time in the afternoon or early evening.

(MIRIAM and WALTER enter and take seats at center with Walter on the aisle.)

MIRIAM. Do you see our flowers? You sent the flowers right?

WALTER. I sent an arrangement, maybe it’s in the back, it’s still early.

MIRIAM. I don’t like coming to these things; I don’t know the protocols.

WALTER. You come in, say “My condolences,” say hello to the people you know, couple of “Such a shame”s. And you go.

MIRIAM. Isn’t there usually a priest or eulogy?

WALTER. I think that’s tomorrow at the burial. This is just the wake.

MIRIAM. I thought this was going to start at 7.

WALTER. I told you we’re early. I don’t know why you insist on going to everything early. Nobody does that anymore.

MIRIAM. People do that.

WALTER. You do that.

MIRIAM. Don’t start with me here. This is neither the time nor the place.

WALTER. Who’s starting anything?

MIRIAM. I’m just saying.

WALTER. Is that Louisa over there? I don’t see anybody I know.