Don’t worry. It wasn’t perfect. I still have a 4 year old and twin 7 year olds, after all. Sometimes they get along. Sometimes.
I’m not sure if the kiss good morning to a smiling wife after waking up after 7 AM had something to do with it, or her finally feeling like herself and interacting with our children, keeping them out of my hair.
Or not driving today.
Or getting time to sit and be productive, and take breaks to think, and allow my brain to rest.
Or rearranging our front room into more logical “spaces” and cleaning an…
For quite some time now, I have been afraid to publicly admit this: I have been diagnosed with having PTSD. But, I’m not afraid of talking about it for the reasons you think. I live in an area with — and attend a church with — a lot of military families. For the longest time, I have associated PTSD as something you end up with after seeing the horrors of war. It is CERTAINLY that. I do not want to discredit that. …
I’m really not much of a people person.
It’s not that I don’t like people, or think that people are bad. Well, not ALL people... I just don’t have anything in common with people, and I find the need to monitor myself, my behavior and how people perceive me to be exhausting. It’s that fear of people not liking me that drives me away from social situations.
It just becomes easier to sit things out, instead of the stress of those situations. …
Loyle Carner spends a lot of time on my rotation while I’m forging. This excerpt he included on his latest album is quite poignant for me. Reach out. Make sure that you can be there for someone who is “not waving, but drowning.”
I read about a man getting drowned once. His friends thought he was waving to them from the sea but really, he was drowning. And then I thought that, in a way, it is true of life too. That a lot of people pretend, out of bravery really. That they are very jolly and ordinary sort of…
I ended up doing a test this morning. I woke up feeling like my heart was pounding — not racing, but pounding. I started checking my pulse to see if it was elevated, and my typical cycle of “health anxiety” started to kick in.
I had a pour of vodka and some junk food last night, am I going to have a heart attack? Is this the end? Will I die on Easter morning because of bad decisions?
Come on. I know that it’s not the end. But, I felt like it was. I went about my morning, having a…
Everyone has their “get psyched music.” Mine usually revolves around The Mooney Suzuki (notably their album “People Get Ready.”).
Mountain biking. Driving on a curvy road. Summer. It’s Mooney Suzuki or bust. That goes for the forge too. Nothing like beating the sh** out of some glowing steel to the soothing sounds of “Singing a Song About Today.”
My name is JSON. I work in the tech industry.
But I hate it.
It’s a necessary evil — working a good paying job to pay the bills so that I can send my kids to college so they can work a job to pay the bills…and so on.
But, I don’t like working all day with my only result being something that is non-existent if the power goes out. I started working towards building a freelancing career when — after my third massive anxiety attack — it hit me: Lean into it.
Instead of fighting this, I’m going to…