the subtle art of detachment
People come and go at their own convenience.
When did you learn this phrase? I learned it when I was in highschool. At that time, I couldn’t fully grasp how someone could mean so much then simply drift away the next moment. As someone who developed strong attachments to certain people back then, it was a concept I struggled to comprehend or accept when I experienced it firsthand.
In my mind, I felt I had to do something to make things the way they were. Anything, as long as it meant they could stay, even at the expense of my own inconvenience. It was a trap I didn’t realize I had fallen into. A trap that I created for myself which led me to waver back and forth. Trust me, I learned the hard way.
Time flies, the sun continues its daily cycle, and life moves on.
Years later, I’m still a work in progress in mastering the art of detachment. Learning brings a few realizations. Some people leave, but you will also encounter those who stay even when the road ahead seems rocky and the wind feels strong that it sways one’s umbrella. Still, you can’t solely rely to these people for your happiness. You can’t be dependent to them or else, you will walk in circles. It’s a dangerous path that places an unfair burden on them and sets you up for disappointment in the end, like a dead-end road.
The art of detachment is a skill that is never easy to master, but some exits are necessary for personal growth to flourish. It is a difficult process to learn for someone who has made attachment a strong part of their personality. It can be particularly painful for someone who has poured so much care only to see it spilled carelessly or drained by someone who doesn’t reciprocate in the same way. However, with time and practice, you will get there once you realize the importance of pouring love that you once reserved for others back to yourself.
We can’t force people to choose us.
They say, there is a reason why a person is referred to as stranger, colleague, acquaintance, schoolmate, friend, friend of a friend, family, partner and more. There is a fine line between these terms, and so does human connections.
You push yourself beyond your limits when you have nothing left to give and then wonder why you feel out of place. There is no benefit in continuing to pour all your energy into watering dead plants and expecting them to grow. Remember, too much of anything can be unhealthy and isn’t always good for everyone.
I used to think that detachment was something negative but overtime, I’ve learned otherwise. Detachment doesn’t mean being cold or out of reach from someone. It doesn’t work that way. You can have emotions and you are allowed to feel them. It only means accepting that it’s okay for some connections to be less forceful and to form a healthy distance. Cherish without clinging tightly. Care deeply without becoming entangled. The same applies to situations or outcomes that you are reluctant to let go of, but at some point, you should if they drain you and no longer do any more good to your well-being. You can only do so much.
In the art of detachment, you learn to love without losing yourself. You learn how to keep your peace of mind intact so that when situations arise that don’t align with your expectations, you don’t let them drive you into a dark place that you are quite familiar with. Most of the time, letting go is one of the best choices you can make for yourself and those you care about.
This topic was requested by a reader. I hope you find it to your liking. Thank you and have a good day! Stay safe, everyone!
