Elizabeth Shassere
Jul 24, 2017 · 2 min read

This brings up many issues for me, as a 40-something who has never been or had any intention of being a wife or a mum. For instance, I recently attended a Women in Tech event with a line up of incredible speakers all of whom were highly accomplished in their careers. All bar one mentioned within their speeches their spouses and/or their children. They talked about them as definers, as supporters, and also to highlight just how much they had accomplished while also being a wife and a mother, with all the responsibility that entails.

While I could never disagree that both those roles require a level of skill and stamina that may be beyond me, it felt somehow unnecessary or perhaps as though these women didn’t feel they could solely define themselves as professionals and achievers in their own right. Or something. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it almost made me wonder if I was in a conversation with these women and it came out that I wasn’t a wife or mother would they consider me “less than”? Would they think “Oh, well you’ve had it easy so your accomplishments are less valuable or noteworthy”?

Not being of a motherly disposition and still feeling half my (40’s) age, I really bristle when someone tries to fit me in the “mum” role, anywhere. It’s like being stereotyped into any social construct because of how you look, for instance, as “straight”, or “foreign”, or “smart” or “square”…. or whatever based on others’ narrow views.

I guess I reckon we should all be able to define ourselves, and we shouldn’t try to define others. If someone wants to bake cookies and keep the place tidy for everyone, so be it. If I have no intention of shouldering your responsibilities because you are net yet mature enough to do it yourself, so be it. Let’s just all be consummate professionals and get on with our jobs, and be recognised for what we contribute in our roles, whatever they may be.

    Elizabeth Shassere

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    Author of Becoming a Fearless Leader http://amzn.to/2FR9cS0 | Founder and CEO of Textocracy Ltd.