Healing Back Pain Naturally

I am sitting here writing this while whimpering in severe pain unable to find any comfortable position to sit or stand in. Back pain is awful, feels never ending, however I am determined to find a permanent self cure. I don’t know if my own wellness treasures will apply to others, but if my discoveries can help even one person not experience the misery I am bathing in at the moment, then writing this post and the TBC to follow are well worth it. This post actually serves a dual purpose, I am hoping it is part of my recovery process. Here’s how and why…

Today I learned about TMS, “Tension Myositis Syndrome”, explored by John Sarnos in his book “Healing Back Pain”, a read strongly encouraged to me by my good friend Eli Szasz. Eli suffered ongoing back pain throughout his life up to 3 years at a time, before reading this book. He blogged about the book’s lessons here, http://21days.com/findings/backpain-part-1. Bascially backpain is the body’s way of distracting us from mental pain. It’s hard to accept this possible truth when physically so uncomfortable, however I’ve had physical symptoms in my past like an outbreak of hives in tandem with a migraine that was driven by an unfortunate family situation. That very sad week my body was over taken by illness, my Mom was so concerned she begged that I go to the hospital, but I knew all I had to do was depart the chaos and not even an hour into my flight, off to Europe, away from the turmoil in LA, my body full of dollar sized hives and a piercing headache magically vanished. Truly even as I am typing right now I am feeling the pain slightly subside. Mind you, I was in agony moving the computer in every possible direction trying, unsuccessfully, to find an angle that would offer me ease while I write this. Maybe this is just a lucky moment or maybe indeed TMS is a thing. One thing that I do know is when I backpacked for 4 months there were zero days I experienced anything other than normal fatigue. I remember walking the streets of Slovenia thinking how great my body felt and that only in America do I have a ‘need’ for a massage, because when in my best spiritual state, my body felt optimized. Let’s explore that possibility along with all the other hopeful solutions I’ve been encountering these past few agonizing days.

If TMS is a thing it would mean my pain is emotionally charged. That if I get to the root of what is ailing me subconsciously then the back pain will pass. According to Sarno’s theory, the pain is only there to distract me from mind pain which is more devastiating to deal with than any physical pain. He shares how it doesn’t make sense that one shoulder hurts, you get surgery, and then the ‘good shoulder’ follows suit...pain seeping into random areas of the body. It is strange that yesterday most definitely my right side was the bad side and at this moment it’s my left side that’s experiencing discomfort and my right side seems ok. At least in these 5 minutes.

At first when Eli asked me to explore this new perspecive and even my Mom suggested maybe I’m stressed, I pushed back because my life is pretty good right now. There’s things happening in my life making each day extra special. I met someone lovely I’ve been enjoying getting to know, my company, though still very much in startup mode is progressing forward, the business model is becoming more and more clear each day and I’m super proud of what I’be built thus far, my Mom and I are closer than we’ve ever been, my roommate is incredible, my friends are so supportive, loving, dynamic. What in the world could I be so emotionally torn up about that for 6 days now I am in physical distress. So I decided to look into this deeper, (with your help, as you are reading this, I am digging into my truths), to see what subsconscious thoughts could possibly be doing their devils dance in my dragon’s lair.

What flows to me is two things; that crazy week I mentioned above as a young adult covered in emotional illness before hopping on a flight abroad, that was the week my father and I officially became estranged. It was awful. And I won’t get into it here, but that life experience impacted me so much I’ve made sure to never again give my heart so freely and to protect myself as often as possible so that no guy could get too close. So maybe, in my subconscious, the pain is serving to protect me. Protect my heart. Because the ‘lovely person’ I also mentioned above, is pretty wonderful and maybe that scares the shit out of me, and possibly I even feel subconsciously angered that my past is what it is tainting my ability to connect. And my startup… in the past I have failed and failed hard which led to a 2 year depression. At that time I was so intertwined in my business’s identity that I had no identity of my own. So when my business ceased to exist, so did I. Today this is not the case. I proactively make sure my ‘self’ and my ‘brand’ are unique from one another, but I am sure that anger, fear, sadness from past experiences still rest in my blood cells.

These upcoming weeks and days I plan to explore all methods of back pain recovery in pursuit of finding long lasting healing. So far I’ve booked appointments with an acupuncturist, Beverly Hills posture specialist, sports massage, laser treatment on my muscles, bought a posture corrector and back strecher off Amazon, bath salts, pain soothing remedies, Esther Gokhale’s book and DVD “8 Steps to a Pain Free Back” who created the “Gokhale Method” suggesting rather than a S spine we should actually have J shaped spines like indigenous people, and of course I grabbed a copy of John Sarno’s “Healing Back Pain”. Even sought out Eaze for some CBD products.

This is my third time this year having awful pain in my lower back. A couple months ago I got x rays to see what’s going on with my spine. I have a straight neck when supposedly it should be curved and normal wear and tear in my lower spine, but some of these experts claim that’s no big deal, no reason for pain. Convinced it’s my Core strength that will save me I resumed doing my hot yoga practice. Surprisingly I feel most comfortable when in yoga. At the end of all this I’d like to think strengthing my body and my spirit will be my magical potion of well being. We shall see…