Heretic 101

As a Transgender Solitary Religious, I hope to share some of the Light discovered clearing the pathway on the Journey.

“I swear Kitchens must be Sacred Spaces.”

In this life’s previous life, no one ever touched my feet. Anyone that even went there the date was over! They were the one thing I could “keep to myself”, they weren’t ugly, malformed, webbed or in any other way disfigured; they were a part of me kept sacred. My toes were a place, when needing to “feel pain” I would tear the nails until they bled. Not an S&M thing, but like “cutting” an emotional outlet when there was no other way to express. The bonus was no one would ever see the “pain”, then they would know there was weakness. Now that I have given myself to express verbally, this action of contrition has lessened. I’ve enough “pain” scattered over this body to make contrition for an entire congregant. *Lord have mercy where is she going?* Just hold on a minute and y’all will reckon.

Maunday Thursday, one of the “lesser” of Holy Week, is about Faith, Feet and Foundation. Imagine you are in your 30’s and you have been hanging out with a group of women and men trying to teach people they can be free. It has been a tough 3–4 years been kicked out of and welcomed in towns, stayed away from the “organized temples and priest”, eaten when offered or “mathematically” divided (loafs and fish), threw down some miracles of healing, turned wash water into table wine……….But few in your “group” totally understood the reason why you are such a socialist radical rascal (Mother, Judas and Mary of Magdalene excluded) . Knowing the road trip is about over you share the down low with Judas and arrange a party with the group. A real meal with real food in a real home.

Now in custom of the era everyone would wash their face and hands, but something strange happens………..Jesus gets on his knees removes the sandals from each and every foot, then washes them, all of them! This was one uncomfortable moment, way too intimate for the men, embarrassing for the women and the beginning of Jesus saying good bye. Take note everyone has washed feet except for Jesus, his still carry the dust of the Journey, more than likely calloused and smelled. It is Mary of Magdalene that uncovers her hair coming forward with basin and pitcher of water; and a precious expensive container of scented oil. She kneels before him, placing his feet into the basin and begins washing his feet. Mary didn’t do the dunk and scrub, she held his feet removing the “world” from them…….Then in front of the whole of the others, wraps Jesus feet in her hair to dry them and then she pours out the oil and massages the dry cracked feet! This was on the edge of adultery, I can hear the “tisk, tisk” released under breath………Jesus turns to them “ I lift up Mary to be man.”

There are many significant lesson that we skim over on this night of Jesus’ abandonment, that could make for a long Pentecostal Sermon………Tonight, for myself it’s about the feet, my broken down, rough skinned aged feet and loosing my pride in their exposed publicly. Then in turn to kneel down and take another’s feet into my hands, washing them, drying them………remembering the misunderstood Jesus.

“Take this and eat, as my body will be broken for you.”

“Mama”

Sister Estelle

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