You are so brave for writing this. It will get better from here. I have been there, too. It got better.
Not sure if this helps, but for me it was getting out of an environment that did not accept or understand me. I needed to move away from my family to keep the love and stop the unnecessary, every day fights and feeling of worthlessness, of not fitting in.
Now my relationship with food is kind of normal, though I went from being vegetarian to being vegan over the years. And have taken on doing lots of sports, that besides obviously burning some of the excess calories, gives me a routine to stick to and is a great way to think through things (I’m talking running here, but I guess it could be anything), and to generate happy hormones.
So, kudos to you. You are amazing. And you can absolutely do this.