The Sound of My Exes Wanting to Kill Me

I began to wonder, with all of the music I’ve been blasting as I come to the end of writing this book, if there is any song my exes would use to describe me. Truly, I don’t think even one of my 10 billion exes would object to “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga.

If any of my old lovers are out there reading this…can you truly look inside of yourself and say the headache wasn’t worth at least a little bit of the trouble? Admit.

Can you also look inside of yourself and say there wasn’t a single teeny tiny time where you thought I was a decent girl, that I was “the one that got away?” You doubted it at least once. Admit.

Even if you thought I was just a horrible piece of shit, it won’t matter. I’m an immature and egocentric Aries. I’ll secretly believe you liked me, just a little. And I’ll…just leave this here.