Dear future husband

I have a husband, but know this…

A letter from the heart, no sparkles, no fancy words, no proper syntax or grammar. Just a letter from me to you.

I’m already your wife, but I thought of you long before we got married, long before I knew you. And this is what I wanted to tell you back then.

With marriage comes a load of responsibilities that you will have to handle, because I simply can’t. Things that you can so easily solve, that seems like a mountain to climb for me. And I already appreciate you for it.

There will be two of us, so your decisions will be influenced by two lives, and I want to apologize for that, apologize for how greatly your life will be changed because of me. But I want to reassure you, that I will be there for you, to help you make those decisions. And to support you when it gets tough. We will be a team.

I want you to know that I will need you to carry the heavy things, I will need you to hang our wedding photos on our wall, and to fix my bicycle. I will need you to hug me when I cry, and I will need you to laugh at every joke I make, even the same one I tend to make everyday. I will need you to tell me you love me. I will need you. I feel like I already need you.

Know that I will always be there when you need me, I will laugh with you, cry with you, I will cook for you, clean for you, I will spoil you and I will work with you. I want you to know that I am independent and that I will work just as hard as you do to build the life that we will dream about together.

Know that I am short tempered and I tend to have double standards. Know that I never finish my coffee and I hate doing dishes. Know that I wrinkle my nose when I lie. Know that I am strong willed. Know that I take risks and I change my mind often. Know that I have dreams and goals and I love music. Know that I love unconditionally. Know that I have broken a few hearts. Know that someone broke mine.

Know that I don’t like tomatoes, and I pronounce certain words funny. Know that I love my family, and my mom is my best friend. Know that I will love your family, and you will be my best friend.

I wish I could hug you now, and tell you that I will be good to you.

You are like a sunset now, I can see you, and you are beautiful, but then you vanish with my thoughts and as I fall asleep I think of you, wondering what you’re doing, who you are and if I’ve already met you. I hope she looks after you now before me, so you aren’t broken when we meet. I hope she cares for you, and appreciates you, and I hope she knows how lucky she is. I hope she knows that I will look after you, forever.

Thank you for building a life that we can build on together, and thank you for every decision you are making that will lead you to me in the future.

I look forward to being the raddest oldies with you.

And now. Now that I know what you look like, who you are, and I share your precious surname with you, I know that this letter means nothing, because my life before you never existed. It’s like it’s always just been you and me. And I love you now more than I thought I would when I wanted to write to you. I love you now, and I look forward to spending the rest of my forever with you, and sharing everything with you.

I never imagine it would be this great to be married. You change my life, and all those promises and demands I wanted to make is void, because no one is prepared for marriage, this sweet, stormy adventure can’t be planned and pre-written, it far too great and far too precious.

Thank you for being ten times the husband I dreamed about, that laughs with me, and wipes my tears, that tells me you love me. You are imperfectly perfect, and I wouldn’t trade you for the world.

Sincerely, your wife, terrible writer and partner in crime

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