The Organized Criminal

a short story

(Part 1)

A basement somewhere. There is a semicircle of men, surrounding one peculiar being. The Organized Criminal.

“Ok let’s go, let’s go! That took us 3 minutes longer than the plan.” There are groans. Someone responds, irritated: “fuck the plan man, that’s all you fucking talk about.” The organized Criminal blinks.

He takes a nanosecond to regain his composure then rebukes:

“Why do we have a plan?”

The person who previously was giving off an unmistakably irritated aura now bears one solely of confusion. He begins to repeat the Organized Criminal’s question, wording it questioningly. Questioning the question “Why — “

The organized criminal stops a foot and gestures wildly with his hands. He speaks forcefully, “WHY. Why do we have a plan if not to plan the robbery?”

A moment goes by and the crew slowly realizes the Organized Criminal is waiting for an answer. A few mutterings, some head-scratches, and sprinkles of “i-don’t-know” gestures envelopes the group.

The Organized Criminal waited for the right moment to speak. He had planned this conversation beforehand. Of course he did. He planned everything. That’s just how he was. Meticulous was an adjective created to describe people of his nature. Not that they exist in abundance.

He was arrogant. Arrogant to such an extent that knowing he was arrogant did not faze him in the slightest. The way he carried himself, it was as though he was under the impression that his arrogance had been earned.

He timed it, then he spoke. “A plan is a plan is a plan. A plan is what separates the criminally masterful from the criminally incompetent. And we… will not be identified as the latter.” He spoke with a conviction that gave the impression he had been to the future and already knew the outcome of their operation.

He pulled out a phone. It had one of those battery-pack cases. So you didn’t need an outlet to charge your phone. He crossed an item off a to-do list. One of many items crossed off of many to-do lists stored on the handheld device and synced to his desktop, laptop, and more recently, his TV.

Someone musters the courage to interrupt the Organized Criminal’s thinking process. “Um Sir… we can’t cut our time by 3 minutes. We’ve been trying for weeks.”

The Organized Criminal sighs. Very suddenly, he pulls out a gun, and shoots the unfortunate interrupter, the bullet going straight through the man’s left eye. No one says anything. Though the room was quiet before, it is now somehow even quieter.

Saying nothing, the Organized Criminal pulls out his phone once again, opening a different to-do list, this one filled with names. He crosses out an item. Toby Hernandez. He puts the phone away and looks up. “Toby was a liability. His sloppy driving was costing us approximately 2 minutes and 45 minutes on the getaway on average.” People nod. The Organized Criminal continues, “It is up to you guys to cut the other 15 seconds.”

The lights turn off suddenly.

The only one unsurprised by this is the Organized Criminal. He continues talking as if nothing had happened, “We reconvene on Tuesday. Do not disappoint.”

He does not say bye. He pulls out his phone, crossing an item off of a to-do list as he walks away.

To be Continued…

*The organized criminal is a character inspired by a exaggeration the personalities of 2 different people I know. Thank you for reading.

I have outlines for some more parts ready and I’ll write them when the time is right. Stay tuned