… one can be in an optimal frame of mind to choose a partner when remaining single feels unbearable. We have to be wholly at peace with the prospect of many years of solitude in order to be appropriately picky; otherwise, we risk loving no longer being single rather more than we love the partner who spared us that fate.Opinion: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person6.4K22The New York TimesEthel Hui Yan TanFollowSep 5, 2018 · 1 min readTo have a partner out of a conscious decision, and not being desperate to get out of singlehood.