It Happens all over Again
I never knew that. That it would overwhelm me, again. Revert to some kiddish state.
I guess I couldn’t have. One of those feelings that comes and goes through-out life. You’ll never see it coming — that’s the nature of romance. And the nature of feeling.
I suppose it’s the surprise of experiencing something immaterial. You can’t articulate it. It’s more than comprehension.
The little giggle of joy inside, leaving an expression of warmth and, for lack of a better term, ‘fuzziness’. That stupid smile. Gee.
To have the feeling of the world drifting into the background, leaving only the person you’re with to occupy your attention…it’s exhilarating - in a romantic sense.
And oh, what a sense.
To go through days, weeks, months, not having an inkling to reach out, explore, communicate in such a way as to convey real interest. A gesture for intimacy.
No desire to seek something that deep down, you know will come with time. There’s no need to force it.
So easily forgotten. The rush. The somewhat embarrassing eagerness to walk with, touch, smell, joke with somene. It’s like ten years of being ‘in-the-game’ has little affect to diminish such a…pure appreciation.
For another person.
It’s so easy to be caught up under circumstances where the situation is miscommunication. There is no ‘chemistry’. There aren’t many signs to prompt further investigation into more ‘nether’ regions.
Plenty of times, that’s the vibe not ‘picked up’ on. Clothes come off, you do the hanky-panky, and it was, well — alright. Maybe even awkward?
It’s like, ‘meh, guess it wasn’t all the rage’.
That’s fine. That just happens. It’s a thing; not bad nor good. Keep it up.
But it’s a different feeling to go through the unforced process of just being with them, into romance. Moving into a different place in knowing someone.
Into something a little more, where you don’t know when it started, or who gave the first gesture. The first, fixing smile.
A gaze left to meet with for a little longer.