3 Surprising Reasons You Fall In Love Often

Zarine Swamy
Change Becomes You
Published in
4 min readJul 22, 2022

Damn. Will you act your age you Sociopath?

That was the 6th time. No wait! That was actually the 7th time. You forgot the 2-month crush on the temp working at Starbucks. You could ill afford the coffees you leisurely sipped through to steal glances at her.

I know men who fall in love at the drop of a hat. Surprisingly enough I know such women too. It’s nothing to do with gender.

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Rather, if you are someone who falls in love as often as Trump goofs up, these could be driving you:

1. You are in love with the idea of being in love

Let’s face it. Love was not as big a thing before the movies came along. And packaged them into a billion- dollar industry. People quietly fell in and out of love. Or settled for a lack of it. A few indulged in fantasies by writing books & poems about it.

Then motion picture gave us lovely visuals & good-looking stars. The greetings cards industry rode on their back. Tormenting yourself with a potential heartbreak has never been so appealing! Am I right? Movies sold us the idea of perfect everlasting love. An aspiration. Our hormones got high on longing for an elusive lover.

The quest made us fall in love once over. We silently picked up the pieces of ravaged hearts. To go on the quest again. We are in love again. With the idea that love will be ours someday.

2. You don’t know what you want

Hey this just got serious.

Regardless of commercialised love’s onslaught, many people resist falling in love easily. Happy & healthy people, unlike you and me. They wait for the “right person” to sweep them off their two left feet.

They are aware of the truth. Committing the heart implies sacrifice. Sacrificing potentially great people to commit to just one. They take commitments seriously, didn’t cha know? They look for lofty goals like compatibility. In values, lifestyles & upbringing. They make you feel like a teenager on crack cocaine with their maturity.

Since you only fall for charm you may be the one with the problem. What are your problems exactly? Lets see. You:

May not know your values or be invested in them.

Are probably immature. Future goals don’t figure in your list of big & important.

Think a difference in upbringing is no big deal. Your parents never killed it anyway.

While we are at it, it is perfectly fine date a lot of people out of pure curiosity. But falling in love is a different ball game.

You clearly lack standards. So are likely to be hurt by narcissists who get drunk on idiots like you.

You need to know what you want from life. You need to focus. Love is neither a distraction nor a time filler. It takes hard work & commitment.

3. You have low self esteem

Serious-er & serious-er.

We love that feeling we get when we rise in love. Our fragile egos get a boost. But hold on. Do you fall for those who are unavailable or treat you wrong? Admit it. You are hoping they come around & see what a wonderful person you actually are.

Here’s news amigo, that ain’t gonna happen. You are chasing those who have little time or interest in you. All you are doing is repel them like the skunk does the fox. More bad news. When you chase you are looking for validation. You need their acceptance or your self worth does a nose dive. This could mean you don’t love, accept & respect yourself enough. Now pause to reflect if the chase is worthwhile. Wouldn’t you rather work out your own issues?

Falling in love is a wonderful thing. Falling in love with the wrong kind of people over & over sucks. You feel like a truck has gone over your chest full speed. That’s how much it hurts when your heart gets broken. And it will.

Stop you from giving yourself away so easy. There are other things that make life wonderful. It may not seem like it now. But there are, trust me. Not falling for the wrong kind of love is the best way you will find the right kind.

If this article feels like it speaks to you, you need to act soon!

Fall out of love. Be scared shit but learn to be alone.

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Zarine Swamy
Change Becomes You

Freelance writer for life coaches, authors & mental health experts who writes about the human journey. My freelance writing website: https://ethicalbadass.com/