Men’s Mental Health Month: Should women’s rights activists care?
June has been dubbed Men’s mental health month. It began as a bid to raise awareness on the issues plaguing men and the pressure placed on them as a whole. It was also a way to bring forward platforms that focused on the improvement of men’s mental health as a whole. All in all, the intent behind its creation was a wonderful thing.
However, in recent years, there have been pressure on women’s right activists to speak on men’s mental health issues. Despite the fact that it’s not their area of specialization, men have begun to feel marginalized that women are failing to recognize their issues while they’re being forced to learn about women’s issues every other day. Whenever the general issues of women struggles come up in the media, there’s always a man demanding that men should be recognized for their struggles as well.
Well, they aren’t wrong. Men’s mental health issues are often overlooked and many people often fail to recognize the severity of the issues men face. From overworking to inadequate mental health resources for men, in their world, they are wrought with challenges that ensures the rate of male suicide is at an all time high. Men are under constant pressure all the time.
But, you know, if men really wanted a voice and platform for themselves, they wouldn’t need a woman to do it for them.
This is a fact. Most media houses are owned by men. Most newspaper publications are owned by men. Most social media platforms are owned by men. They don’t need to struggle to have a platform if they own the platform. So, if they wanted their voice to echo around the world, they already have the tools to make them happen.
In truth, what men have to contend with is the patriarchy.
Now, I know that sounds cliche. It seems like an overused buzzword. But if you’ve read the article to this point, I want you to stick with me. Shame is a tool the patriarchy has sold particularly well. The words ‘be a man’ have a direct correlation with the fear of shame and exclusion. That fear has contorted what masculinity has become in recent years.
If a man is raped, he has to contend with the fear of being shamed by his peers rather than the pain of the event. If a man is overworked and underpaid, he has to contend with the fear of being shunned by his family for not adequately providing both attention and financial contributions. If a man is insulted, he has to contend with the shame of being a wimp.
Now, I’m not saying all of men’s issues ties with just the various expressions of shame in society. All I’m saying is it plays such a huge role. Are you still with me?
Often times, when people draw direct parallels between men’s mental health and women’s mental health, people often try to equate the two. It is funny because people want equity when it comes to the right of men and women but want equality when it comes to the struggles of men and women.
When women enter into specific fields and find their grounds, earning a lot of income as one would expect from these very important fields, men slowly withdraw and dub it a feminine job, using the same excuse to underpay and undervalue these women. Great examples of these are Nursing, Teaching and Office Assistants. As these jobs receive a moniker of feminine jobs, people draw a direct contrasts to these jobs, citing fields like construction and engineering as masculine jobs, thus we have achieved some kind of balance for roles in society.
In the end, because feminine jobs are in fact, essential jobs, people take advantage of this citing that everyone deserves fair medical treatment despite their gender. Everyone deserves to go to school. Yes, I’m sure everyone needs a house but you’d actually have to afford it first. Meanwhile, education and healthcare are a human right.
Before I further digress from my point, I was just showing an example of what it looks like trying to equate the struggles of men and women.
When it comes to things like physical and sexual abuse, women are more likely to suffer because the average woman is physically weak. To counter this, women’s rights activists have spent decades developing a system that ingrains self protection and preservation in women. They might often seem radical but when it comes to abuse, women have to deal with the threat of death constantly.
Now, here comes the kicker. It’s hard to say this without men coming out to say that men also suffer the threat of death when they’re abused. It’s the reality. But bringing that up when women’s abuse are exclusively being discussed is nothing more than throwing a tantrum.
Think about it. Doesn’t it just feel absolutely icky when you’re telling someone how terrible your day was and they respond with how much worse their day was? You both had bad days but you’d really prefer if you can rant to your friend without it turning into a ‘who suffered more’ competition.
All in all, I will say that misery loves company. It’s selfish human desire, yes, but it is human desire nonetheless to want to find someone who goes through the same thing as you. That’s how socially dependent communities and some friendships are formed after all.
But women’s rights activists have been saying this for decades. If men wanted their voice to be heard, they should raise up their own advocates. They should have men who take up the cross for their own genders, men bold enough to speak about abuse and their own side of the story while pointing that accusing finger accordingly.
Women are already fighting for their right to exist safely in society. We don’t want to have to share our safe space just because some men feel it’s unfair that we only advocate for women.
If you feel it’s unfair, do it yourself.
Although I do have to warn against women that are all too eager to voice out about men’s issues. I’m talking specifically about the type that downplay women’s issues to highlight men’s issues. They are not your friends and they are not your fans. Activism is a long, slippery slope so choose your ride wisely.
Thank you for reading this far 😊. If you can, follow, give me a few claps and tell me what you think about this article in the comments! I look forward to hearing from you!
