Halloween costumes that are hard to explain

Eugene Kudashev
2 min readOct 31, 2018

If you decide to dress up as one of these characters, be ready for some explaining to do.

The man who hates all generalizations

He strongly believes that all generalizations are wrong — without recognizing the irony of it

The man who didn’t get the reference

Whenever you throw in a movie or book or any other cultural reference in a conversation, he looks puzzled and confused, and persistently asks for explanations for the rest of the evening

A man who will leave the party at 8pm sharp

Unsurprisingly, his costume is constantly looking at his watch and leaving the party at 8pm sharp

A man dressed up as himself

Is there anything more scary than being yourself?

A girl who was told that she can be anything that she wants to be

She still believes it. She also can’t figure out why she’s miserable and depressed

A teenager with zero followers on social media

She walks around, asking everyone to follow her “on insta”. People awkwardly nod and walk away.

A writer who obsesses about the differences between “-”, “–”, and “—”

Be careful, he’ll be more than willing to explain his costume for the 100th time

A social media influencer

Her costume is taking pictures with everyone at the party, then to ask people to pay her to post them

A woman in the costume of existential crisis

She looks strangely similar to the man who is dressed up as himself — whom you’ve met a couple of paragraphs before

A failed standup comedian who can’t find a better use for his time than to come up with obscure Halloween costumes

Oh, wait——

Special thanks to B.K. She knows who she is, and for the rest of you it absolutely shouldn’t matter. (I might as well have just invented her for the sake of inventing her. We’ll never know.)

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Eugene Kudashev

Failed standup comedian, making a living as a copywriter. He’s very skillful in writing about himself in third person and plans to write a novel in this style.