Hello, thank you for reading a piece of my heart from my sleeve.
Months ago; I had a turmoil breakdown where I had to lay on the floor for grounding. I saw it coming; but didn’t expect it to hit on sunday 9 pm. I think it was one of the worst hit that I feel the need reached out to my friends for help, to break out from the firing thoughts that made me hyperventilate— but none of them answered the call. That kinda gave me a bad thought that; here we are, wind up alone with nothing but ourselves to begin and end with.
So I prayed. I’m not that religious but I always have this little secret safe space with me and the highest power. I prayed, I prayed, I prayed. Then I wrote down things on paper to get a clearer picture— and turned it into this comic.
It’s not a massive hit. It’s a buildup of storms slowly walking in towards me. I don’t know how to answer to those ’how are you’ or ‘what happened are you okay’ and meet the same people; because I don’t have the answer since last year until now. (One of the reasons I didn’t make art as much as I want in the course of several months)
I know some people close to me tell me to ‘speak to me’ or ‘do not keep it to yourself’ — but I’m tired to say it’s the same thing again. I’m done talking about it like it’s gonna make any difference — which I’m afraid it won’t any longer.
It all boiled down to me and the action and the force from inside of me to make the change. I’ve heard enough what I need to hear but at the same time, they’re not enough. Such a weird confusion.
I’m writing this comic because I finally can talk about it without feeling less of a human. I’m overall in a ‘better’ for now— just in case you worry, please do not. I have the message for encouragements I need… for now.
Instead, I urge you to please check to someone next to you. It could be your friend, your family, your peer, someone you know from somewhere else. Or— to yourself. By all means, check yourself first.
Storms, wrecking confusing and most inconvenience thing ever,
but it’ll make sense later.