One Man’s Lyric Is Another’s Vulgarity

The society is very powerful in diminishing uniqueness, eccentricity, nonconformity, — outliers. We are raised with an inherent disdain towards those who decide to be different, those who don’t give two shits about the society and just want to be comfortable in their own skin. We are raised to immediately judge these outliers.

It doesn’t matter that teachers in elementary school try to explain that uniqueness is what makes a human, human and glorify every person’s eccentric identity and encourage them to embrace their differences. There are always these strong, arbitrary perceptions from the society — like a set of rules — that people must follow if they want to ‘fit in’. About what should be more preferable than the other. What is “normal”, whatever that means, and what is not. Which perception should be accepted and which should not.

For example,

Blonde, white-skinned girls are more beautiful than the black-skinned.

Having any other sexuality but hetero is not normal.

It’s better to be friends with anybody but Muslims because they’re all terrorists.

Women should not wear revealing clothes if they don’t want to get raped.

Those are the big, extreme cases that I’m sure most people are progressing to digest and change their perception bit by bit. But I want to focus on talking about the smaller things that go under the radar, almost undetected, but still hurts.

For example,

Extroverts are better than introverts.

Depressed people are just those who exaggerate their problems.

If your problems are not bigger than mine, it’s not worth the acknowledgement.

Being obese is not a condition, it’s a state of being lazy.

If you don’t have any friends, you’re just not trying hard enough.

Social anxiety are just shy people trying to legitimize their condition and making it an illness.

Suicidal people are selfish.

Commitment issues are just excuses for people who want to cheat on their partners.

People who too easily become emotionally attached to others are just attention seekers.

Anorexic people are just attention seekers.

People who cut themselves are just attention seekers.

These are just the tip of the iceberg among plenty of other things we are yet to understand the fatality of. How much it hurts, and how much impact it has on other people, even when it has none on you.

I’m not some perfect, righteous angel that says I, unlike some people, understood all this. I, too, have yet to completely understand that one man’s lyric is another’s vulgarity, that what I might find common and insignificant may be someone else’s trauma or trigger to their pain.

I, too, have yet to completely understand that each of us are raised and shaped in completely different ways. We perceive every aspects of life in different meanings. We grow up to be happy, or sad, or angry, or pragmatic, or sympathetic about different things.

Something can indefinitely be more painful to one person than the other, probably because of a past trauma, their association of this thing to bad memories, or they are just more sensitive in general.

We don’t have the responsibility to know every single past trauma a person might have. We don’t even have to completely understand the reasons behind everything; why they cut themselves, how they got social anxieties, why they have commitment issues, why they are so easily attached. But we do have the responsibility to respect these reasons when we found out, and try to be more sensitive in future interactions.

I, too, haven’t found the ability to stop judging people as my automatic instinct when I meet new people. I, too, sometimes found the difficulty to be more sensitive in my interactions to people. But maybe, just maybe, we can all try and learn together.

Maybe we can all try to not be that society who try to diminish or invalidate “outliers” at every chance they get.

Maybe we can all try to be human.