Slow Travel Guide: Uncovering Melbourne’s Charm in a Week
Five days of adventure in Melbourne
My partner and I are extremely blessed to work FIFO/DIDO in Queensland. This means we are lucky enough that we can work as well as travel throughout Australia without the time pressure.
We are slow travellers, preferring to relax and enjoy the atmosphere and charm of a city whilst meeting old and new friends, rather than ticking every single tourist attraction off of our list in a short space of time.
We always feel as though we can come back to a city and see anything that we might have missed.
That being said our first time in Melbourne was incredible, and we are already counting down the days until we can return.
This is what we got up to, what we loved, our must-dos and what we will miss out next time.
Day 1 — A long travel Day
We travel from North Queensland and live around 2 hours from our nearest regional airport. It is a lot of time and effort to travel on our weeks off but it is so worth it for us.
Travel days really take their toll on us, especially after 14 days of 10-hour shifts, and having very little sleep before the early wake-up call. Travelling to Melbourne took us 12 hours door to door, and Liam had been on late shifts, meaning he missed his alarm, hadn’t packed and had only about 4 hours sleep.
One thing about me is that I like a plan, however when I am on holiday I have a strong belief that transport will always work out perfectly for us, and I have never organised (nor even researched) transport from an airport to a city. I always assume there will be a way, and when we landed in Melbourne it was the SkyBus.
The SkyBus stop was directly outside the terminal doors and cost $40AUD return per person. Spending $80AUD before we had even had the chance to stretch our legs in Melbourne was a punch to the gut, but it turned out perfectly. We had a short 10-minute wait, then around a 25-minute drive into the city during rush hour, and the coach station was a convenient 10-minute walk away from our hotel.
We stayed in a serviced apartment at Lumina Suites on Spencer Street.
The apartment was lovely with a stunning skyline view of the CBD. The floor-to-ceiling windows were incredible and there was a fully stocked kitchen for cooking (which has surprisingly been rare so far on our travels).
HOWEVER, unless you are a fan of sleeping on concrete slabs covered with cheap linen I would probably avoid. As much as it was okay for this stay, I won’t recommend it for any friends or family coming to Melbourne.
The location was great, cleanliness was good, and amenities were fab, but the comfort and quality of the furnishings, particularly in the bedroom, were shockingly bad. So bad that after our 12 hour travel day on 4 hour sleep, we burst out giggling at the thought of finally relaxing and having to do it on a mattress masquerading as a pile of bricks with a white sheet on top.
I even undid the bed to see if there was some cardboard protection or something over the mattress (it was the only explanation I could come up with) but alas no, just a rock-solid mattress and an upcoming week of terrible sleep and sore backs.
If you did the classic falling onto a big hotel bed trust fall, you would probably break your neck.
We also added to our ritual of just exhaustedly ordering dominos on our first night as we always know what we want and it is so cheap in Australia, but this added to a disappointing start in Melbourne because the food was terrible, they forgot quite a lot of stuff and it was 1.5 hours late. Thanks for the 13$ refund though!
TLDR; loved the apartment but you’d be comfier sleeping on the floor, and don’t order the Dominoes.
Day 2 — Liam Day: Melbourne Zoo, Ice Bar, and a night out in the CBD
This week in Melbourne was to celebrate Liam’s 25th birthday. So this day was affectionately called Liam Day. He had no idea what was planned for the most part, and we had a great time doing things that he loves to do.
Since we are now Queensland natives and are no longer acclimatised to Melbourne’s autumnul weather, we headed into the CBD first to do a bit of shopping. The shopping in Melbourne is 10/10, and I would love to go back with more of a focus on retail therapy! But at this point we definitely didn’t want to be carrying any amount of shopping bags around the Zoo.
I don’t know if it was just us but our phone signal sucked in Melbourne. It was the first time we have had that happen with Telstra. Sometimes the ‘dot’ on our Google Maps wouldn’t even be on the right street in the city. And as I don’t research any kind of transportation before I go anywhere, access to Google Maps is a requirement.
I would say I am quite good with maps and figuring out my bearings, and even I couldn’t quite get my head around the tram and underground system in Melbourne so I would say a little bit of direction research with actual wifi before heading out would be my top tip! Will I take my own advice next time? Probably not, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
On the door prices for Melbourne Zoo were $46AUD for a full-price adult, as much as we liked the Zoo, I would say this price was quite steep for how many enclosures were empty.
Liam and I both love going to zoos and had heard good things about Melbourne. We really can spend a full day in any kind of weather wandering around a zoo, but we were in and out of Melbourne Zoo in under 2 hours.
There was very little to see and lots of the enclosures were so small that we walked away feeling sad and guilty for even paying to be there. I grew up near an incredible zoo which has done a lot of work to ensure that its animals have enriching enclosoures, as much as possible. When we had visited Australia Zoo the animals, especially the large mammals (Elephants and Giraffes) had acres to themselves as well as acres hidden from view of the public. Melbourne felt like a prison in comparison, especially for the elephants.
After the zoo, we had a lot of spare time as I was expecting us to be there a lot longer. We slowly wandered back into the city, taking in the sights and the atmosphere and had a chill afternoon before heading out for Liams next birthday experience!
Liam’s lovely Mum had gifted him tickets to the Melbourne Ice Bar. We left 30 minutes before our allotted time, thinking we would be there very early, but ended up in traffic for 40 minutes! We were stressing in the back of this poor man’s Uber, but we were in gridlocked traffic and there was nothing he could have done. We made it a little bit late and still had the best time. We giggled and laughed the whole time and Liam even got a bonus shot as I had written on the booking form that it was his birthday. We had an absolute ball playing all the games and taking a lot of pictures on their photo booths. Unfortunately, we were not allowed to take our own pictures, and they charged 12$ each for the ones we took on their photo booths. We were given 2 weeks to buy any we might have wanted, but why pay 12$ when Liam sneakily nabbed an amazing picture of the screen on our way out? (See below)
What I will say though is if you have been to one of the larger ice bars in Europe, Prague for example, Melbourne’s is a lot smaller, and as I mentioned you aren’t allowed to take your own photos. If you are looking for something a bit different to do for an hour in Melbourne and laugh the entire time it is so worth it, but if you have already been to one of the bigger Ice Bar experiences in Europe or Asia, just go in with lower expectations! You will still have a ball though!
The cost of the ticket included a lovely poncho to keep you warm, one shot that you can take with your friends on a ski, one cocktail each, a couple of different ice games like noughts and crosses, connect 4 (which I smashed Liam at multiple times — sorry not sorry I won’t even let him win on his birthday) and ice (air) hockey made out of actual ice. There were some amazing ice sculptures and 3 different photo spots. You get 45 minutes to enjoy. We only managed 35 minutes as we were late but after 35 minutes we were pretty cold and had finished our drinks. It might be quite expensive for what you get but we had a genuinely great time and it was a perfect experience as a one-off birthday drink!
We then grabbed a drink at the sports bar beer garden in Federation Square and headed to Father’s Office Downtown on a friend’s recommendation. Father’s Office had a happy hour until 10pm and Pornstar Martinis were only $15! We have heard their other location has a dancefloor, whereas this one felt very restraunt-y for a bar. I was, however, having the absolute time of my life with the cocktails and I am assuming Liam enjoyed the beer too!
We headed a few doors down to the State Garden Hotel on the banging recommendation of a drunk girl in Father’s Office bathroom (god bless the Girl’s Bathroom). There were two floors and upstairs was some of the best music we have heard on nights out since coming to Australia — the bar is low for this accolade. Australian nightlife and good music don’t seem to mix. We danced for hours and just had an amazing night. Don’t ask me how much the drinks were in the State Garden Hotel, the prior Martinis had taken over and for all I know the drinkss were $50 each and I was getting double rounds in.
Day 3 — Collingwood Magpies vs Port Adelaide at the MCG
This was the day we had been most excited about. Since the very day we decided to travel to Australia, an Aussie Rules match had been top of the list. We are both avid sports fans, namely football (soccer), and our love of sports is how Liam and I connected in the first place, going to different sports events has since been a firm feature of our relationship.
For those who don’t know, the Melbourne Cricket Ground is a 101,000-seater oval stadium. Words cannot describe the atmosphere, although was not the best day to have a pornstar-induced sorehead! It was loud, friendly, and intense.
We were, unknowingly, in the ‘away’ end although everyone was mixed in together, and had incredible views directly behind the goal in the Shane Warner stand. We sat beside the friendliest guy from New Zealand who had one hell of a whistle (n.b. my sore head), we laughed, chatted and cheered together for almost 3 full hours. Before we headed out we watched a 15 minute youtube video “A Guide to Aussie Rules”. The rules are very complicated and there are about 10 referees and 32 guys running around on one pitch. We were really hoping the person beside us could help us out but the Kiwi guy had less of a clue than we had! Luckily the guy in front heard us asking each other (probably) the dumbest of questions, and was happy to answer, or happy to not have us being complete wally’s in his ear behind him.
We are both football fans in the UK, where fans tend to be vilified (especially in Scotland) and opposing team’s fans are very much kept separate. I was taught that Tynecastle was a fortress and it needs to be as intimidating as possible for opposing fans. The MCG on the other hand played a montage for the away team and even played their team song with lyrics on the big screens!
After a rough initial 15 minutes for Collingwood, the famous Pies produced an undeniable win with 123 to Port Adelaide’s 81. At the end of the match we joined in singing the Collingwood Magpies Song three times, with help from the lyrics on the big screen.
Maccas (McDonalds for the non-Aussies) also sponsored an event called kick2kick which allowed spectators to have a kick about on the hallowed turf. We couldn’t believe our luck, and had no idea it was even a thing. We got to walk on the pitch and get some photos together in the sun.
We had an amazing day, one we will remember for a very long time, and I really cannot wait to experience more Aussie sports atmosphere soon.
After the match we wandered back to Lumina Suites and ordered some (delicious) burritos and had an early night. Rock ‘n Roll.
Day 4 — ‘Bottomless’ Brunch and the trials of being a Scottish football fan abroad
On Sunday I got the chance to catch up with the beautiful Lauren and Molly, my friends from back home. We decided to grab a bottomless brunch at Left Side in the Southside area, directly on the Yarra River. The brunch was only 49$ and the food was delicious. I ordered sourdough toast with avocado and feta, and Lauren and Molly got some pizza. I will say, I have a lot of doubts about how much alcohol was actually in the jugs of cocktails they were giving the table. We got a jug of Sex on the Beach and Pornstar Martini (my drink of the moment clearly), and I think might have had a jug and a half just by myself. I was completely sober and think I could have probably passed a breathalyser if I needed to. If you do go to Left Side for the bottomless, either know that you aren’t going to walk out legless and it is a cheap bottomless or that it is quite an expensive breakfast with juice.
Full Review of Left Side Brunch
I really really loved seeing the girls again, it had been far too long. It feels nice having some familiar faces when you are so far from home. I need to get back to Melbourne for a proper night out!
After brunch we had a mini shopping trip around the CBD, then I headed back to the apartment. Liam and I had hoped to hit up the Fitzroy area in the afternoon but decided to save our legs as we had big plans for a Sunday at Midnight (the joys of watching football 10 timezones away). Heart of Midlothian (my team♥️) were playing The Rangers in the Scottish Cup Semi-Final. Rangers were on a losing streak and Hearts have had one of the best seasons we have ever had. I had high hopes (lol).
What you will know if you are a fan of a sports league that isn’t exactly internationally attractive, like the The Scottish Premiership, is that it becomes a mission in itself to find anywhere that will have the match on.
We found out the Crafty Squire would play the match for any Hearts fans in Melbourne. I don’t know how we would have found this out without randomly sitting beside two lads from my (quite small) hometown on our staff bus leaving the mine site we work on. They had also watched a Hearts game in Melbourne at the Crafty Squire a few months before and gave us the recommendation. The world is a very small place, and it is also a testament to the universe always making sure I never miss a Hearts game.
And to sum up our time at the Crafty Squire, the beer was quite expensive and Hearts played shit.
I suppose there is always next year (I have said this every year since 2013).
Day 5 — Our RnR day
When you work in FIFO, you need a day where you can collapse in a heap and do nothing except head to Coles for snacks and a trip to the hotel lobby for your Uber Eats.
Day 6 — Queen Victoria Markets, Botanic Gardens and Dinner in the CBD
On our final day in Melbourne we decided to tick a few of our must-dos off the list. First up, we headed to the Queen Victoria Markets. I do think a Tuesday was probably the wrong day to go, there were a lot of empty spaces and a majority of the stalls there were selling snide designer t-shirts. I was expecting a much more handmade jewellery and artisanal vibe, but that might be what the markets are like on the weekends! The fresh food looked amazing and so cheap! They also have night markets on at the moment on a Wednesday night which I am gutted we couldn’t have gone to due to our work dates.
We then walked through the city, with a pitstop for some Dumplings, over to the Melbourne Botanical Gardens. They were stunning and seemed to go on forever. The cacti garden in particular was beautiful and reminded me of a mini Yves Saint-Laurent garden in Marrakesh. I think we could have probably spent another 2 hours in the gardens and not seen everything. We also walked around a part of the Tan track, it is a running track I am desperate to do next time we are in the city. The fastest laps were incredible to see and I cannot wait to compare my times (it will take me 4x as long).
In the evening we headed out for dinner for our final evening. We had heard that the laneways or Carlton were good places to find great restaurants. We stumbled uon Max on Hardware on Hardware Lane. Hardware Lane reminded me of European terrace eating, there were people everywhere, spilling out onto the streets, laughing, drinking, and chatting. I felt right at home.
As we usually do we ordered some garlic bread for our starter, we have yet to find good garlic bread in Australia and after this one, the search is still ongoing. I ordered the Goats Cheese and Chorizo Spaghetti which was delicious, Liam got the Chicken Parma which he said was quite average. The pizzas also looked incredible though. I think next time we head out in Melbourne for dinner we might go up to the Carlton area as we have heard it is chocked full of great Italian restaurants. I am a massive fan of any Asian cuisine, but Liam is unfortunately not as adventurous as me when it comes to eating, so next time that might have to be a dinner date with the girls.
On our way home for the final time in Melbourne, we celebrated a great week together with a Piccolina Gelateria. This ice cream was next level! The flavour was so on point and was so incredibly creamy. We regretted not getting more! Highly recommend!
Day 7 — Back to the grind
We had an early 4am wake up call to head for our Bonza (rip) flight back to our home away from home for another 14 days of hard work. Again it took 12 hours door to door, but that time would have been halved if we had our own transport mineside as we spent a lot of time waiting around our local town for our bus back to the camp.
Melbourne was such a vibrant city, and I was craving somewhere that had a bit of life and culture, like Melbourne. The comedy festival was on but we didn’t manage to squeeze in any shows, but that would have been a great addition to our trip. The sports were great, and everything we could have hoped for a bucket-list moment like the Aussie Rules match at the MCG. The bars and nightlife felt much more unique and diverse than we have experienced elsewhere in Aus. I cannot wait to go back to soak in the city and its atmosphere a little bit more.
On our next slow travel week we are heading to the beautiful Airlie Beach and Whitsundays! Fingers crossed the weather holds out.
Some great resources I used to plan our trip:
