B, you wild child. I have to tell you something.
I met you in March 2010.
I came with two friends to scout speakers for a conference at my university. Our day was fully packed with meetings , with inspiring people talking about even more inspiring things. At the end of the day we were overwhelmed by the ideas, thoughts, visions and possibilities we heard about.
I’ve been inspired and super high on the feeling of knowing, there is a place where I can be understood, challenged and inspired.
This day in March was one of those days... you know, one of those days which will define your future. I met my future boyfriend (now ex) this day. I met the owner of my first flat and the founder of the co-working space I was working in 6 month later. You f*** inspired me on that fine day in March. I knew straight away, that I wanted to be closer to you. I knew, I had to hang out with you more, I wanted to suck up your vibes and fully immerse myself.
I fell in love with you that day.
Berlin, you have shaped me. You have pushed me, you have loved me, you have been cold, you are sexy and sometimes so incredible ugly. You have helped me grow up, you have co-molded my professional path, you have elevated me in heights I didn’t even think are possible. You have thrown a lot of exciting opportunities in my lap, you attracted some of my best friends from all over the world.
You hold space for weirdness and you create intriguing spaces. You showed me magic and brought incredible music to my ears and my soul. You showed me beauty in the most random places and helped me discover my own beauty.
You have become a safe bubble.
You made me talk english 85% of my time awake, you made me drink black- hipster-filter coffee, enjoy a gluten free diet, gave up ironing my clothes and rely on 24/7 access to food. You made me get used to people show up 2hr late to dinner invitations and coffeeshops serving breakfast until 5pm.You made me get used to grumpy people in cafes, on streets and public transportation. You made me say „ this is so Berlin“ whenever people misbehave, act rude or just simply stupid. You made me walk around with music in my ears because I couldn’t stand what I heard on the outside.
You made me feel like a stranger in the rest of the country and made me say .„ Berlin is not Germany“ and yet, you are a walkable German history book. Exploding of historic bits and pieces in every single corner.
You are a space in between. You are a place where the rest of the country comes to understand „how they do it“. You are a a place where the corporates come to in order to visit the startup zoo. To see this new startup species, to see what they are creating, to see how they organize themselves, coding themselves into the “ changing the world heaven” fueled by global money, tagging it way too often with innovation. You are an incubator and laboratory for crazy ideas, for necessary visions, for absurd and often unnecessary products and sometimes some real innovations. And I love you for that.
You hold space for me when I hit rockbottom and almost at the same time, helped to accelerate my learning curve in the past 3,5 years like crazy. You threw a real innovative product my way and I feel honored to have had the opportunity to nurture it from the very beginning while help building an exciting company around it.
With this in mind, I need to let you know about my decision which I made a while back already.
I fell out of love. I need to go. I’m leaving you.
I tried my best to fall in love with you again since last year. It worked partially but not fully. Berlin, I’m not getting a kick out of you anymore. You turned from the magic zone into my comfort zone. And well, I guess both of us know enough about comfort zones to understand, they are not the place where you can grow.
Thanks so much for everything I was able to experience with, through and because of you. The past 7 years have been an exciting, important and multilayered adventure. You will always have a crazy big place in my heart.