Divorces are definitely not pleasant and can drain one in more ways than one. The casualties of every divorce are the children in real sense. It is not only the couple that has to endure the divorce but the kids as well. The stress that kids undergo during this time is felt for a long time afterward. The stages of grief are felt on the child as well and in some instances, the child can get stuck on one emotion all the way to adulthood if the divorce is not handled well. What then can a parent do to help their child deal with divorce if the decision to have is final?
Listening needs to be the first thing you do. Pay a lot of attention to what your child is saying as this will help your child know that he or she is being heard. Ensure you have maintained a healthy relationship with your kids and they will keep you posted on their feelings along the way which you can work out together. Read more great facts on federal student aid, click here.
Then you shall need to break the news to the child in person. Having both parents present this is very important. Discuss the discussion between the two of you before taking it to your child as this will ensure all feelings of hurt, anger, and blame are kept out of the discussion. Find out what is co-parenting and all that it entails not excluding the child support guidelines. Ensure you have responded to all their questions.
Kids will have to react but not all at the same time and you should acknowledge this. It goes without saying that the kids will react but it is important to help them through it all. They should know and feel that you care about their feelings and that they are valid and it is okay for them to be upset. You will realize that not all kids will react as you expect them too because some of them will keep their feelings hidden and act like they are okay. This is an attempt to please you as the parent or as they avoid to feel the difficult feelings of sadness and hurt. Give them time and let them know that when they are ready, you are there for them.
After the initial reaction, you should help them cope with reality. Don’t take away their right to hope that things will be back to normal and mom and dad will be back together. It is normal for them to miss their family and all their hopes and dreams as a family. It is important to let them know that it is okay for them to hope but don’t give them false promises. Be considerate of what they feel but tell them the truth so that they won’t have false hope.