A one nightstand, please?

It’s past midnight on a Friday night, I’m busted from all the booze I’ve had at a local rocker’s bar, so I took a cab to get home as all the buses are off by now…I am not a rocker myself, but this time I gave in, to the insistence of one of my roommates who kept begging me to go with her at least once…’and then I’ll change my mind’.

So, I went with her just to shut her damn mouth because she had been buzzing in my ear for months by now and every time I said ‘no’ to her, she would put up one of those ‘puppy eyes face’…and I just hated it!!!

When I first reached that place, all I could see dark clothes, long hair everywhere and a smell of cheap vodka hit me right in the head that I almost lost my balance.

I had decided to let my prejudices at the door long before I even got there, so along with this friend of mine, whose name will not be revealed…well, we tried to get in, but we had to wait until one huge dude managed to get out to puke or something because he wasn’t really in his normal state of mind.

We managed to get at the bar eventually and I felt strange because these were actual people…most of them highly intelligent and the only difference between ‘them’ and the rest of us, was the fact that they preferred to dress a bit differently and they drank like fucking pigs! For real.

We started with a couple of shots just to get in the mood. I guess I was the only one in there wearing brightly colored clothes…but after a couple more drinks I really did not give a fuck about anything anymore.

My friend was super happy because I went there with her…because frankly, she did not have that many friends except for me and she probably felt lonelier than most of us.

So, as we were sitting there by the bar drinking and laughing like two retards, there’s this guy coming at me…he was drunk as fuck and falling on one knee.

My first thought was “This motherfucker is going to propose to me…ruuuunnn!”, but the poor guy had different thoughts in mind.

“Would you want to have a one night stand with me?” he asked with the most sincere voice I had ever heard in ages…and looked dead into my eyes.

My eyebrows were raised and I just couldn’t tell if this was a joke or the real thing…so I looked at my friend…

“Is that how you fuck like rabbits around here?”

She shrugged and started laughing.

“The fuck are you laughing at…”

Now, don’t get me wrong…if Johnny Depp came to me and asked to fuck, I would probably consider the offer…but…this fellow was probably the ugliest in the whole freaking bar…I mean, was I lucky or what?

Originally published at Evelyn Poe.

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