Fixing this will never happen until those firms are outed.
You chose to write a story about your experience there, but you are protecting them.
This is not being an ally to the people hurt by them. You write:
“Before I go into my experience at the party: it shouldn’t need to be said, but it is absolutely inexcusable to use your power, or allow that power to be used by others, to exploit people for sex. This is basic being-a-human 101. It’s incredibly fucked up to use your power as an investor, or to allow your power to be used by others, to lure women to sex parties, or for this to be a means of women getting access to Silicon Valley’s power structures”
You are currently exploiting this story. You are a tech entrepreneur. You wrote a story about attending a sex party that you recognize is exploitive and dangerous and dehumanizing, and instead of telling us who threw it so they can get some scrutiny over their choices, you protect them and tell us you were really uncomfortable there but probably not as terrified as the women who were there to be exploited and given drugs to lower their inhibitions.
For this, you are applauded, because that is how this works. You are positioning yourself as the better VC. The one who went to the sex party but didn’t really like it. That’s carving out a business niche for yourself. Now people who are upset about the story in Brotopia will seek out your products out of curiosity. Who is this other VC, who goes to sex parties but thinks they are weird? How compelling! How brave!
What would be brave is outing them. Neither you, nor Vanity Fair took that step, because it would jeopardize access to those powerful people throwing sex parties.
But that is the world we have built. No one in power is ever going to hold other powerful people accountable because capitalist structures insulate the wealthiest people from scrutiny. There are just too many opportunities for people who are willing to protect these people and discredit the testimony of their victims. Everyone is afraid to jeopardize their spot in the hierarchy. That’s why it persists with a robustness that will never really be known unless someone starts naming names.
But this kind of story does not help protect anyone. The kinds of stories that do help women navigate these toxic environments are held at arm’s length by the establishment that benefits from our exploitation and puts a target on the back of anyone who actually has the courage to specify which firms and which men are dangerous.
