Tinder Dealbreakers That Wouldn’t Be Dealbreakers IRL

Eve Peyser
May 30, 2016 · 1 min read
  • That terrible haircut.
  • Too beardy.
  • Hates cats.
  • That horrible, horrible hat.
  • Like, literally why that hat?
  • Job listed as “apprentice”.
  • Same name as any of my exes.
  • Super-liked me.
  • Too many pics with lots of girls, not because I’m jealous, but because this is Tinder and you should know better, so I’m punishing you for not knowing better.
  • Septum piercing.
  • Bleached hair.
  • Cargo shorts.
  • Thinks a picture of themselves on a boat makes them seem more desirable.
  • Asked for weed in the second line of profile, referred to it as “greenery” and used 8 different emojis to signify weed.
  • Under 5'9".
  • Is an actor or model.
  • I don’t like and/or respect our one mutual friend.
  • Our mutual friends are random in an unsettling way. (Like how does one person know 2 people I went to summer camp with, rando kid from Oberlin I talked to twice and my best friend in 3rd grade!?)
  • Seemingly doesn’t understand how photography or lighting works.
  • Says he’s looking for “a girl who loves to laugh” in his bio.
  • Is a clothing store and not a person.

Eve Peyser

Written by

Columnist for GEN • Have also written for: the New York Times, NYMag, Vice, et al.

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