Just Keep on Talking

We’re in conversation, and looking at what’s next for you.
You’re clear that you want what’s next — creating more intimacy with your partner, asking for the raise you know you deserve, taking the leap and pursuing the entrepreneurial adventure you know you’re supposed to be doing, etc. The content itself doesn’t really matter, because the context is the same either way.
You’ve been talking about wanting it for a while. Like pumping yourself up before you go and jump off the diving board.
But at this point, it feels like we’re talking more about it so as to talk more about it.
How much longer, I wonder, are you willing to keep talking about this, without taking the scary action? Instead of keeping that to myself, I ask you, more curious than anything.
You don’t really like the question, because it’s poking at the preciousness that can come from being in a coaching conversation. Like as long as we are talking about this thing, you’re doing your work, you’re above reproach. You don’t have to feel called out, because you’re in a conversation about it.
But that would simply be colluding with you. What if coaching has simply become the new strategy your ego has adopted to keep you from doing what you’re afraid of? We can’t keep that running, can we? If we do, are we actually helping you? No, we’ve just taken a powerful structure of support and co-opted it to do the work of evil (letting fear win).
You’re a little defensive. I understand. I would be too.
You share how clear you are that you want this, it’s just that you can’t seem to make yourself do it.
You’re fascinated with this fact. We’ve had conversations about it for the last four weeks. Like a child playing with his food to avoid having to eat it, you keep hoping that enough conversation will alleviate the fundamental fact that comes from living a fully expressed life: Sooner or later, you have to confront your fear.
You nod your head enthusiastically. You think you’re getting it now.
“Right, okay, that makes sense. So I just need to actually take the action. I wonder why I’m not doing that then. Let’s take a look at why I’m not doing that, so that we can move that out of the way”.
On my side of the fence, I simply sit there smiling, waiting for you to get the joke you’re playing on yourself.
“You’re not going to let me get away with that, are you?” You ask, a little sheepishly.
“Are you going to let yourself get away with that?” I ask back.
Our conversation winds down. There’s not really that much left to say.
All that remains is to see what you come back with next week.
