Like a Sister (episode 7)

Later that night after spilling to my family, my best friend and her 2nd boyfriend left for Vegas. I decided last minute that I didn’t want to go, it was an emotional day and I needed rest. Before I made my way to my bed I sat outside and smoked a cig along side a dark haired man. He asked me how I was and we struck up conversation that ended up lasting over two hours. We spent the rest of the day laughing and chain smoking until the two lovebirds came back from Vegas. The nap I was supposed to enjoy never ended up happening, but I was able to forget about all that was happening for a while. This guys distracted me for the rest of the day and even watched movies with my bestie and her man as well later on.

Although I had made an instant connection with someone I was very hesitant so in the end it didn’t go anywhere other than friendship and midday phone conversations for the next couple months, but I do thank him for being such a good support system for me.

The next morning we packed up the car as quickly as we could and headed down to my girls boyfriends dorm to help him finish packing. My rapist was there. I did my best to be civil and nice considering we were leaving in an hour. We finally got things packed and headed towards the car when my rapist hugged everyone and patted my shoulder. I headed straight to the car. I was ready to leave.

We spent the next ten hours driving up to Oregon, we are going to be staying at his mothers house until we start working in a couple days. I was fine with that considering we only had my tax return left, and I didn’t want to be spending it in hotel rooms. He promised he would pay most of our way, and he most definitely did, but I was worried about when the money ran out. I was across the country and couldn’t afford to run out of money so naturally I was worried. In this situation whether or not they wanted to admit it I was the third wheel. I wasn’t sleeping with our caretaker, so how long until I was voted off the island?

The next couple days, I will admit, I was not the best version of myself. I was still not allowing myself to really deal with what happened and to be honest writing this blog is the first time I’m really letting myself feel the pain of the situation. I could tell I was being the buzzkill on our trip. I wasn’t really enjoying camping in someone’s back yard. It was still pretty cold out, and we were on a hill so no matter how hard I tried I was constantly trying to get comfortable. We were back and forth between camping and hotels, and anyone who knows me really well would know I hate not knowing where I will be sleeping.

Side note; (I have mentioned that I was in foster care as a child, but up until I was 13 years old I had moved over 10 times. It definitely has a way of making you feel insecure about where you are going to end up next. I have learned along the away that the next adventure is not always a good one, and to always have things planned out. It’s not my best quality, and I feel bad for those friends of mine that like to be spontaneous, but if I don’t have a plan I can’t protect myself from what could potentially happen.)

I expressed this insecurity to my best friend on a random run to the gas station, and immediately she was on the defense. It really upset her that I didn’t put all of my trust in her new boyfriend. Yes he had been nice to us, yes he had paid for us to get there, but did that mean I should trust him? I don’t think so. I have been hurt mostly by the people I have been closest to, and have put my trust into, and most of the time it has been people I have known for years. I just couldn’t figure out why it was that she was so intent on me trusting this guy. It honestly made me worry more, I loved her so much that I wanted to trust him, because he was clearly someone she cared for, but something was pushing me farther away.

Eventually she gave into the idea of the possibility that he could be lying but she really didn’t think that was the case. She told me that if it made me feel better I could call the place we were supposed to be working and check in, then I would have the proof that he wasn’t lying. I immediately made the phone call. Sadly enough my worst fears had come true. They didn’t know who I was or my best friend. They knew who he was, but were still waiting on him to apply.

HE DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING APPLY!!???

Inner thoughts: What the actual fuck!! Is he fucking stupid? What were we going to do?? Why wasn’t my friend more upset? Did she know?

Did she? Honestly I couldn’t help the fact that she was unwavered by all of this. She didn’t care in fact she was mad that I was bothered. It was hitting me like a ton of bricks. As long as she liked him, it wasn’t going to matter how I was affected. I needed to get out of this situation before I got hurt.

    Secrets to a bad relationship.

    Written by

    I am perpetually single. Trying to find my way through the dating world.