The Paradox of Self Awareness
Self-reflection is a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery, but it can also be a double-edged sword. Navigating the incoherence of the self requires a delicate balance between introspection and acceptance. In this blog post, we will explore how self-reflection can both illuminate our true selves and lead us down a path of confusion.
The constantly changing self:
Self-awareness involves understanding one’s own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in order to make positive changes and live a more fulfilling life. However, what those so called ‘’self help books’’ don’t tell you is that there is also another side to self-awareness that can be contradictory and confusing.
At its core, the paradox of self-awareness and incoherence refers to the fact that while we strive for self-understanding, we are also constantly changing beings.
Furthermore, the human mind is incredibly complex and dynamic. We have conscious thoughts that we are aware of but also unconscious processes that influence our behavior without us even realizing it. This makes it difficult to fully understand our motivations and actions at all times and the process can be a bit frustrating at times but pals…..we must not fret.
It’s ok to feel this way :)
Being self aware is like:
‘’I know both who I am and I have no clue who I am. I am both the narrator and main character of my life and I spend a great deal of time analyzing myself from a 3rd person perspective’’
You know the first time I experienced it I was like ‘’ That was me? That’s who I really am?’’ And the fun part is that you don’t know how many of these you are going to encounter in your life. But…isn’t that the beauty of it all?
You are gonna meet scores of new people in the course of your life and each of them is going to bring out a different person from within you that you wouldn’t have known existed. This phenomena is very often followed by an existential crisis and that my friends….is where the real trouble starts.
The rabbit hole:
Self-discovery involves confronting questioning not just ourselves but also the systems and values we believe in. It becomes unavoidable to question the meaning of existence of this self.
Why am I here?
What is happening?
Why does any of it matter?
I know….that escalated fast.
‘’Life is so short’’ . Not for a self aware person. Every moment is filled with heavy introspection, trying to find something to cling on…something to hold on….something to make you feel that all the suffering is worth it. Something to make you feel that you being here is actually meaningful
Living each passing fraction of time in conscious self assessment is quite scary. At a point, even the most raw parts of your emotions feel like intentionally raw. The possibility that the most truest self might also not be true.
What’s true?
What is reality?
It takes courage to confront these contradictions within yourself because it requires you to challenge your own preconceived notions about who you are supposed to be. This can be uncomfortable and scary at times — but it is also liberating. You will go berserk over ‘’ What is the point’’ until you realize the point is whatever you decide is the point. There is no direct point to life, meaning it is ‘’meaningless ‘’ and life being meaningless means you can provide it any meaning you want. You find something meaningful , live for it, dive towards it and grab it tight.
Being human is less about discovering a self and more about creating a self. This is the essence of what it means to be human, creating what it means to be human.
The thing about modern people:
We have set to harsh precedents by which we judge ourselves today. Defined boundaries, fixed personality types, unbending opinions and set ideal types. We have become to rigid. We are unwilling to indulge in things that don’t align with our ‘’interests’’
The pursuit of perfection can also hold us back from taking risks or trying new things.
Accepting the uncertainty within the self allows us to let go of rigid definitions and expectations we may have placed on ourselves, and instead open ourselves up to new possibilities and growth.
Often times, we try to tightly hold onto certain aspects or labels that define us because they give us a sense of security or comfort. However, true growth requires us to let go and be open to new experiences and perspectives without trying to control the outcome.
Letting Go of the Need for Perfection and Control:
In today’s society, there is a constant pressure to be perfect and in control of every aspect of our lives. From social media feeds filled with perfectly curated images to the expectations placed upon us by family, friends, and society as a whole, we are bombarded with messages that tell us we need to have everything together and under control.
But the truth is, life is messy and unpredictable. No matter how hard we try, there will always be moments of chaos and uncertainty. And this uncertainty is what is adding meaning to life. So when it comes to the self, we should just let multiplicities be.
Man is short tempered and impatient. If he is not constantly stimulated by uncertainty, he might as well stop trying. The confusion and agitation might be an essential part of it all.
Conclusion:
It’s all about accepting the absurd, being comfortable with the absurd and being the absurd. The paradox is that you are nothing to everything and you are your everything. You are the grain of sand on the beach and the beach itself.
