5 Reasons Why You Are Being Ghosted
A photo by Will van Wingerden
He showered you with compliments that made you feel you’re the most beautiful person on earth. He did every means just to be with you. He offered you the world. And then you fell into his trap, into his captive arms. You fell in love. And all of the sudden, he was gone.
Sounds familiar? How about this?
You texted him from asking where he was to how he had been doing to why he wasn’t replying, and eventually to all hate emoticons. Still, there was silence from the other end. You tried to ignore the clues with positivism, telling yourself that maybe he just ran out prepaid credits or battery. You dialed his number and it rang. Your heart was jumping out from your chest, excited to hear his voice. But girl, it just kept on ringing. So, you did another desperate move and messaged him on Facebook. But still, your messages were just being seen. And then, you told yourself again that he might be busy or he might be off grid and couldn’t send a reply. Oh, come on, girl. Wake up. You have been ghosted. Why?
You’re Too Nice To Be Dumped In Person
You may be a girl-next-door type and he just couldn’t hurt you with parting words. So, he just walked out discreetly, hoping that you would figure out that it’s goodbye.
You Have Been Too Clingy
He might be in the middle of a corporate meeting, or a family dinner, or a shower and then you bombarded him with your what’s-up-with-you-and-why-are-you-ignoring-me text messages. Or maybe you have let him feel how much you need him. Girl, you’re suffocating him. Give him time to breathe.
He’s Not Ready
He may still be in a shaky relationship and all he wanted was to have fun or to have someone to talk to or spend a day with to bury the pain. And there you are, pressuring him to be in a relationship that he wanted to get out from.
You’re Not Getting It; He Wants To Break It Off
He tried to call it quits in the nicest way possible but you pretended not to get it or you were not really getting it. You were not reading between the lines. He couldn’t say it directly so, he just disappeared.
He’s Not Into You
This is the saddest one. You’re not the one who has the power over him. Yeah, he might seem so real. Well, maybe he finds you attractive but that’s it. Nothing more than that. If he’s really interested in you, he would reach out.
So, what now?
Accept it. He’s gone and it’s beyond your control. Stop making a move. Just let him be. It may be painful. And you may still be hanging on to that belief that he would be back soon. But for now, keep yourself busy. Do whatever makes you happy. Chase your dreams. If he comes back and you’re still in love with him, at least you have waited with grace and not in despair. If he doesn’t, then at least you have done something great for yourself. And yes, the perfect catch is out there somewhere.
Originally published at paintsandquills.com on September 23, 2016.