Finding Balance
“You need to make time for me.” I was stunned, I couldn’t refute his statement-accusation, no quick come back, his words cut deep.
This was the man I worked with, slept with, ate with, took drives with and basically was not away from for more than three to four hours, on those rare occasions that I had an activity that did not involve him.
Yet, I knew exactly what he meant. It had been 5 months or so since we had our second child, I was back to work after the first month, running two coffee shops, a catering department, a marketing company and a hostel. Taking care of two adorable children, and oh, I had joined a Women in Business group!
If you’re an entrepreneur, you have no doubt heard the call to be diligent, prioritize, compartmentalize, find balance…for me, trying to follow all the best-selling advice brought on a great deal of anxiety. I often felt like I was failing in one area when I was excelling in another. It took a great deal of self acceptance and self reliance to achieve my own version of balance, a place, a routine, where I didn’t feel completely helpless and out of control.
I started thinking about my responsibilities as seasons. In this particular season, my husband needed his wife, his best friend, his chill out buddy.
I remember when my company was going through a hard but necessary retrenchment, at one point I was filling in on shifts, training staff and still trying to keep up my own portfolio, all in one long, exhausting 12–14 hour day. I would come home and my babies would be ready for bed, and I would be anxious about the night ahead, waking up for feeding and diaper changes.
And then, they were both unwell, and somehow, I was able to be at home to take care of them, rest with them and nurse them back to health — with my mobile phone never too far away of course! The company didn’t implode, somehow, they were managing without my constant supervision and interference.
It is an amazing blessing to be an entrepreneur, to call the shots, sleep in a little late, take days off when you need to, and be where you need to be at a particular time and in a particular place. I am learning how to be responsible with my time, to manage my expectations and being realistic about what I can achieve daily.
Perfect balance is something I will never attain. But flexibility and a positive attitude, that’s what gets me through the toughest days.
My advice to you? Do what you need to do, however you need to do it. Embrace fresh perspectives and never stop trying, give every area of your life 100% at a time, not all at one time.
There will be days when you feel too tired to even breathe…but that is the spirit of an entrepreneur… the greater the risk and sacrifice, the greater the reward.
And yes, we did make time for each other, a few dinners, cocktails and movie dates to hold us up for a few months.