Can’t Hardly Wait
When I watch movies, I dispend any and all thinking. I don’t try to solve the mystery before it’s revealed, and generally, I can’t see plot holes. Upon a sixth or seventh viewing, however? That’s when I notice things (big and small) that start to frustrate me and can affect my future enjoyment of said movie. So with this intro out of the way…
Can I ruin Can’t Hardly Wait for you?
Can’t Hardly Wait came out in 1998, the same year I graduated High School. So it holds a special place in my heart. Especially because I couldn’t believe Jennifer Love Hewitt was my age in real life at the time.
Ridiculous and clichéd as it is, there’s a lot to love here. For me, it remains a fun watch. But there are a couple of things that don’t quite make much sense and every viewing drives me crazier and crazier when those parts come up. Do they ruin the movie? I’ll let you decide.
The Sherminator from American Pie showing up randomly throughout to steal stuff is actually something I enjoy.
While I roll my eyes at Kenny Fisher and Denise trapped in the bathroom and hooking up every time — and their volatile relationship — that actually feels like one of the most genuine things to occur in the movie. (Quick shout out to Kenny Fisher in general)
Same goes for Amanda Beckett’s friends trashing her behind her back, “For the record, she is not prettier than Gwyneth.” And samesies for Mike Dexter’s buddies saying they’re going to break up with their girlfriends but puss out because someone’s dad is getting them Pearl Jam tickets in August.
A quick moment of silence for Loveburger. #NeverForget
Alright, back to the post… I personally love a pre-famous Jason Segel being a little too sexually suggestive with a watermelon…
Jerry O’Connell’s turn as Trip McNeely (“Really? Which ones?”)…
You’ve also got Melissa Joan Hart as the crazy Yearbook Girl (“These are precious memories frozen in time, people!”)…
and a huge shout out to my man William Lichter and what I feel is the funniest, most underrated moment of the movie: when the cops show up and Mike grabs him at the piano, “the Cops, Billy!” and then William plays get away music on the piano before Dexter pulls him away.
All that aside, the shit that drives me crazy all has to do with the hero of the story, Preston Meyers. Poor, poor, stupid Preston, clinging to the hope that the popular girl will suddenly fall in love with him on the last day of school. We’ve all been there, AMIRITE?
It’s not the whole “we both liked Pop Tarts” bullshit… or Mandy by Barry Manilow… or even the physics-defying letter and how it found its way to Amanda at the party… or EVEN the fact that once she reads it she goes on a full-fledged quest to find him.
No. Here are my three problems:
1) I know it’s a big school and everything, but you mean to tell me that he wasn’t able to leave any kind of impression on her in 4 years? They never talked?? Were never lab partners? Never accidentally bumped into each other in the hallway? I know when you’re unhealthily obsessed with someone you steer clear of them in fear of embarrassing yourself, but Preston seemed to be a normal kind of guy who had friends if not a little bit of a loner (not too unlike Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything). The fact that he’s been so obsessed with her for four years but she has no idea who he even is makes no sense to me.
2) Preston (Press-tone!) is leaving the next morning (via train!) to head to school early because there’s a writer’s workshop with his idol, Kurt Vonnegut. Or something. I know Preston is leaving the next morning and I know he’s heading to college but not before this writing seminar/workshop thing. What I don’t get is… is it all summer long? If it’s for a couple of weeks, is he getting a summer job on or around campus for the rest of the summer? If it’s taking the train and those are his only bags, I’m guessing he doesn’t have to travel that far, otherwise, why is he taking the train? As you can see, I have far too many questions about Preston’s travel arrangements and his summer schedule leading up to his first year of college.
3) I previously mentioned how much of a mission Amanda Beckett was on to find Preston at the party. This spills over to the next morning, when she conveniently shows up at the station right when Preston’s ready to board his train. Well, I’m sorry, I don’t care how much she wants to find him, I don’t see her going to bed at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning and then getting up early enough and heading to his house (oh hey, she figured out where he lives!) to talk to him. Any reasonable person — even one who’s on a mission to find true love — would wait until a decent hour the next day. And there’s no way in hell a 17 or 18-year-old gets up that early. In fact, I remember seeing that exact scene in the theater and thinking, “If this is me and the roles were reversed, I’d wait until the afternoon and then she’d already be gone.” And again, I was the same age at the time.
And this is what drives me crazy about Can’t Hardly Wait — a favorite from my teenage years that I have sentimental attachment to and actually love (well, right up to the moment when the cops find Mike Dexter passed out behind the pool house).
So what do you think? Did I ruin the movie for you?
