Sister Patterson
A few weeks ago, I became hooked on this new tv show, Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn. A preview of that night’s episode showed a clip with Tiffany and her mother, Sister Patterson that drew me in, and I had to see how Dr. Jenn handled their situation. Their dynamic is not a unique situation, and is unfortunate to me that Tiffany has to go through her life loving someone who causes her so much distress and hurt, namely her mother. Sister Patterson reminds me of certain Black women who I thought had died out by now, the deeply spiritual and religious woman who rules with the iron fist and tradition as opposed to fact, as was done to her as a child. In various episodes, Sister Patterson doesn’t interact with the group, is resistant to the therapy, insists she is perfect and needs no help, dogs Tiffany out about her feelings and such, and refuses to acknowledge Tiffany as a woman, and her anger, hurt, or other negative feelings. Listening to Sister Patterson defend her comments on how she talks to her daughter or her daughter’s actions is heartbreaking. I can see why she would say those things (she fits that type very well), but I wonder why she won’t even acknowledge her daughter’s tears and frustrations. Clearly Tiffany is upset, but Sister P. has a stone heart towards that.
Well, the cast of this tv show appeared on Steve Harvey this week, and Sister Patterson made a comment on how she was perfect in the eyes of God, and I was not as astounded as Steve and his audience were, because I had heard that before. They both started quoting scripture, and I had to go find the one she quoted. Hebrews 10:14 is the key verse, but I don’t like taking things out of context, so I’ve included the entire chapter here for reference: (Holman Christian Standard Bible version)
The Perfect Sacrifice
10 Since the law has only a shadow of the good things to come, and not the actual form of those realities, it can never perfect the worshipers by the same sacrifices they continually offer year after year. 2 Otherwise, wouldn’t they have stopped being offered, since the worshipers, once purified, would no longer have any consciousness of sins? 3 But in the sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. 4 For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins.
5 Therefore, as He was coming into the world, He said:
You did not want sacrifice and offering,
but You prepared a body for Me.
6 You did not delight
in whole burnt offerings and sin offerings.
7 Then I said, “See —
it is written about Me
in the volume of the scroll —
I have come to do Your will, God!”[a]
8 After He says above, You did not want or delight in sacrifices and offerings, whole burnt offerings and sin offerings (which are offered according to the law), 9 He then says, See, I have come to do Your will.[b] He takes away the first to establish the second. 10 By this will of God, we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once and for all.
11 Every priest stands day after day ministering and offering the same sacrifices time after time, which can never take away sins. 12 But this man, after offering one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God. 13 He is now waiting until His enemies are made His footstool. 14 For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are sanctified. 15 The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. For after He says:
16 This is the covenant I will make with them
after those days, says the Lord:
I will put My laws on their hearts
and write them on their minds,
17 He adds:
I will never again remember
their sins and their lawless acts.[c]
18 Now where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer an offering for sin.
Exhortations to Godliness
19 Therefore, brothers, since we have boldness to enter the sanctuary through the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way He has opened for us through the curtain (that is, His flesh), 21 and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water. 23 Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. 24 And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works, 25 not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.
Warning against Deliberate Sin
26 For if we deliberately sin after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire about to consume the adversaries. 28 If anyone disregards Moses’ law, he dies without mercy, based on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much worse punishment do you think one will deserve who has trampled on the Son of God, regarded as profane[d] the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and insulted the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know the One who has said, Vengeance belongs to Me, I will repay,[e][f] and again, The Lord will judge His people.[g] 31 It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God!
32 Remember the earlier days when, after you had been enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings. 33 Sometimes you were publicly exposed to taunts and afflictions, and at other times you were companions of those who were treated that way. 34 For you sympathized with the prisoners[h] and accepted with joy the confiscation of your possessions, knowing that you yourselves have a better and enduring possession.[i] 35 So don’t throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. 36 For you need endurance, so that after you have done God’s will, you may receive what was promised.
37 For yet in a very little while,
the Coming One will come and not delay.
38 But My righteous one[j] will live by faith;
and if he draws back,
I have no pleasure in him.[k]
39 But we are not those who draw back and are destroyed, but those who have faith and obtain life.
I’ve also heard a sermon about this, I believe from Living on the Edge or somewhere, where basically we were all in sin, but once we accepted Jesus as our Savior, he took our place for judgment. So in the end, when God looks at us, he will see Jesus’s blood and that our debts have been paid already. I think where she was taking this too far was that she was too physical with it rather than spiritual. That and she is in some deep denial. Almost as much denial as my daddy is in, but that’s another story.
I see a lot of Sister Patterson’s characteristics in my mother and a lot of their relationship is mirrored in my relationship with my mother and in my sister’s relationship with our mother, though I’ve been closed off emotionally from both of my parents since my late teenage years. However, one difference is Sister P.’s reliance on the metaphysical. In the episode of The Nanny where Fran and Max went missing on their honeymoon (spoiler alert for those out of touch with the hottest nasal show of the 90s, they do finally get married and have twins), Sylvia is distraught because she can’t get any readings on her daughter and can’t tell whether she’s hurt, alive, happy, in trouble, etc. In the end, she is able to reconnect and feel her daughter’s happiness. There are other examples of people outside of shows on TV recounting experiences such as these where they have had special bonds with family members or maybe even friends. On the following episode of Steve Harvey, twins took over the show and a lot of twins have special bonds in which one can feel what the other is going through or about to go through. I know I have had one experience where on Sunday evening in January 2009 I was extremely sad out of nowhere, and started calling the elderly men of my family to see if they were still kicking. They had recently had some hospital scares earlier that month and I had to check that feeling out.Turns out, my childhood best friend’s dad had died around that same time, and I found out a couple of days later. I ain’t never cried so hard at a funeral before, or since, but anyway. The point I was trying to make here was that though Sister Patterson offends a lot of people and her behaviors can be called crazy, there is still something of value to them/her. She is a very tough pill to swallow and needs to have more compassion for Tiffany. That and we all need more empathy for our fellow humans.
