Feeling Empty and Lonely After Breakup — Why Do I Feel So Empty After My Breakup

Kelly Lacey
7 min readAug 21, 2021

When you are coping with a break up, it is normal that you let all of your negative feelings and emotions out. You would have it done on a sheet of paper writing anything about your feelings. You can creates blogs. You can throw pillows on your bed and would even talk to yourself in a mirror. Some will just keep quiet; others would go to an isolated place, and shout.

A relationship that starts to be very romantic and passionate can also end with extreme pain in your heart. The pain is mostly associated with things you never expected to happen but it came suddenly like a thief in the night. It is understandable that you are hurt and emotionally upset after the break up. You have your own different responses on how to deal with it. More often than not, it takes enough time for your heart to heal. You will go though times you are depressed and in pain especially when you were totally in love and stuck with him. You look back at the times both of you shared; you browse your pictures together and wish things will be the same. You cry for yourself and for him. You want to forget him but you cannot. When you see places, thing or food that reminds you of him, you tend to disregard it but deep inside you can’t help but remember him. When you are legally separated or you broke up physically, it is also important for the both of you to break emotionally. When emotions are kept and left unchecked, more negative emotions will invade your heart such as hatred, jealousy, anger, revenge depression, loneliness, hopelessness and suicidal attempt. When these are unnoticed, you are unconscious that you are living with these emotions.

I understand that coping with a break up is difficult to do. You cannot afford to eat, sleep and work. Indeed, you can become unproductive with the hurt. You are emotionally drained and your emotions are irrational anymore. But, whatever is said and done, one must learn to deal with the problems maturely and responsibly. Try to lessen that hatred for him so you can slowly start moving on, in a perfect time or your chosen time. Here are foods for thoughts that you can use to help you cope up successfully after a break up:

1) Accept the break-up. Once the break up happens to you, the easiest way to do is to put all the negative feelings behind you and start coping up with the hurt. Do not expect that the break up can be resolved by a miracle. That’s too impossible. It will be harder for you when you think that way. Accept the reality that your relationship ended and the person you were committed to will not be there for you anymore.

2) Learn to forgive. I know this is not easy especially when you really are hurt. But believe me, in forgiving; your heart and mind will be refreshed. It will help you let go of the hurt and hatred. It will help you look at the bright side of life that everything happens because there are a lot of things in store for you.

3) Respect yourself. Do not think that you are to be blamed of the break-up. Do not deprive yourself of things that you enjoy. Eat and sleep well. Go out with friends. Do not allow yourself to end your life through suicide. There’s still life after a break-up and you are still destined to see the right person in your life. Give yourself a second chance, to be loved and be happy again.

4) Spend quality time with your family. Everyone may leave you but not your family. This is the best time that you realize that the love from your family is greater than your boyfriend.

5) Count your blessings. Your life, family and friends are enough to thank the Almighty for the blessings.

6) Allow yourself to heal. Do not get impulsive in trying new relationship. Just allow yourself to reflect on things and let go of your emotions. Wait for the right time to commit again.

7) Divert your attention. This is done through finding a new hobby to forget him. You can do movie marathon, baking, room decorating, etc.

8) Stay Positive. When there are negative emotions that are very overwhelming, learn to let go of it and keep the faith that everything happens for the good.

9) Move on. To move on means to plan for your life, to do the possible things you love. Treasure your families and friends, whom you can converse with and share feelings with. The more you share your feelings, the faster the healing.

Love is truly the most powerful emotion. There are so many things that people can do because of love. You got hurt from the break up because you loved; you are blinded because of love. You forgive and forget because of love. You respect yourself because of love, and you learn coping with a break up because you want to be loved again. Love can give us beautiful and ugly emotions in our lives. However, it is not at all applicable that love should be the focus. Never allow love to make you blind on things that you need to know. Never allow love to hinder you in moving on. As such, love must be used wisely even on the worst times of your life.

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Feeling empty and lonely after breakup: Why do I feel so empty after my breakup.

Looking back on things, you’ve realized that your ex is the best thing for you. Now you’ve got to figure out how to get back with you ex ASAP. Perhaps you weren’t ready for the relationship to abruptly end. Your relationship might have been a dating situation or even a marriage that got real ugly and ended with divorce. Either way, you see that there might be the opportunity for another chance. If you aren’t ready to throw in the towel on your lost relationship, you will want to know these simple ideas for how to get back with your ex.

The possibility of love still being there is real if it was once present. You can’t go back and erase what happened or make your mistakes disappear, but you can give the love a chance to live again by drawing a line in the sand and starting over. If you’ve given the relationship a chance to breathe by stepping away from it, you should be able to come back together for a conversation. You don’t want to rush back into things, though.

Problems somehow interrupted your relationship. If they haven’t been resolved, this is the time to deal with the issues and get them corrected. You can’t start where you left off if that ‘left off’ place is not good. Whatever problems there were, they must be dealt with before you can even think moving forward. If the issues can’t be resolved, you might be able to get back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend but the relationship may not last for a long stretch.

Your relationship might have fallen apart based on one event. It could have been a behavior that one of you couldn’t tolerate. Whatever it was, a decision has to be made. Will you accept it, deal with it, or change it? Something has to be done and you can’t move forward without this determination.

If one of you cheated on the other, you may have a little more trouble overcoming this. Once trust is broken it’s hard to regain it. Time can help to repair this breach. The other person also must have a reason to believe that the behavior(s) or actions won’t be repeated. They have to be assured that it’s safe to trust the other person again. If this is the reason your relationship ended, you might consider marriage counseling or couple’s therapy.

How you portray yourself during this time is important. Don’t appear too needy. Yes you desperately want to get back with your ex back, but you don’t want them to see you in a position where they’re free to take all of your power away. You need to appear confident in yourself. When you exude confidence, your ex will pick up on that and will view you in a different light. They’ll find that confidence attractive and appealing.

Of utmost importance is your confidence that getting back with your ex is the best thing for you to do. Ask yourself if you’re a better person with them than you are without them. Is this relationship in your best interest? If the answers to these questions is no, then you need to move on and find the person who is right for you. You don’t want all of your work figuring out how to get back with your ex to be in vain.

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