How To Be Friends With An Ex Boyfriend You Still Love — Can Being Friends With Your Ex Get You Back Together
How to be Friends After a Bad Breakup
In most relationships, couples bond together not just as lovers or spouses, but as friends. They enjoy talking to each other, laughing together and sharing secrets in addition to creating romantic memories. But what happens when the romance bombs?
The romance can die even in happy, healthy relationships. Unfortunately, it can lead to relationship breakdown or even a breakup. It’s a painful double whammy. You lose your lover and your friend at the same time.
Instead of date nights and lovemaking, you end up with ample arguments and hurt feelings. So how can you be friends with your ex?
Friendship After a Relationship: Is it Possible?
We’ve all seen great relationships end with two people hating each other, flushing the friendship down the toilet along with everything else. The friendship may have added beauty to the relationship, but they can’t manage a simple conversation after a bad breakup.
One person may still want the friendship, while the other wants to never speak again. Or one person wants to get back together while the other says friendship is the only option. Usually, both people lose the battle and it’s a devastating state of affairs. So, how can you avoid this unfortunate trend?
What It Takes to Be Friends With Your Ex
Two People With One Goal. For starters, a friendship requires two people on the same page. If you push for a friendship when your ex is not ready, it just causes arguments and pushes the other person away. That’s the exact opposite of what you want. Even if you were best friends when together, it takes a lot of patience to develop a friendship after a bad breakup. Don’t let heartache or anxiety make you rush when what’s really needed is space to cool off. You need time to miss each other and start the forgiveness process. Only then can former partners work on building a platonic relationship.
Reconnect Slowly With Your Ex. After taking some time apart, prepare to contact your ex. However, don’t expect things to fall right back into place. At first, you may not hang out together at your favorite spot or spend hours on the phone like you did before. Maybe you’ll simply start with brief conversations. One way to initiate this is a simple text or email that asks how your ex is doing. Keep it short and sweet, remembering that the idea is just to get your foot in the door.
No Rehashing the Past. Once you’re making progress by having conversations with your ex, you may feel tempted to bring up issues that led to the breakup. Unless you are apologizing, this is a very bad idea. Focusing on the present helps avoid arguments that may threaten your future as friends. So discuss something interesting and positive that’s going on in your life. If a difficult subject comes up, shift as quickly as possible to something more positive. When reconnecting after a bad breakup, the last thing you want is to cause more hurt feelings. Negative memories only bring negative results.
Communicate Your Goals. Remember to keep communication open and to make sure you’re both on the same page. If one or both of you want to get back together, this should be discussed at the right time and in the right way. If one of you has misgivings about the friendship, discussing this is equally important. With such a delicate matter, you want to make choices that do not backfire in the end. You want to avoid hurting each other and focus on a common goal.
It doesn’t work for everyone, but it is indeed possible for exes to become friends. It takes time, understanding, forgiveness, and (most of all) patience.
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How to be friends with an ex boyfriend you still love: Can being friends with your ex get you back together.
Here you are. Home again after a date; a date with another guy who isn’t the one. The date went horribly. And here you are saying to yourself I want my ex back.
After you’ve broken up, you usually move on to different people. But if you’re constantly telling yourself you want you ex back, you need to think about and investigate what you can do to re-ignite the old flame of your relationship.
There are several things you can do. I’ll share five strategies for when you want your ex back in this article.
The first thing you should do is clear the other people from your energy fields. Do not invest any more time in men who are not your ex. If you’re really serious about your old relationship working again, you’ll have to get your mind, body, and soul ready for him. Flirting with other guys, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping with various guys, you’re not in the right mindset to get your ex back.
Next, remember your dignity is on the line. Don’t go chasing him or sending him lots of text messages or emails. You need to make him respect you and treat you like the lady you are. You don’t have to be a doormat because you want you ex back. Keeping your head held high and being yourself will increase your chances tremendously.
Third, make a ‘pros’ list about your ex. Include on it the things you appreciate about him. Don’t rush through this part. Put some thought into it. You might not complete it in one sitting because things may come to you as time passes. Many times the break up of a relationship includes lots of accusations and rock-throwing. Doing this will help you remember his great qualities and why you initially fell in love with him. This is a great activity when you want your ex back.
Next, when you have an opportunity to spend some time with him, change the settings. Don’t go to the same places you used to go to. Make some new memories. Maybe you can start a new hobby together, like golfing, tennis, jogging, or gaming. You want to meet new people. Changing these things will be like starting a new and fresh relationship. Steer clear of your old patterns and routines. Take a few steps back. Start with dating and doing things together. Don’t jump right back into living together or planning your wedding again. You need time to rediscover each other.
Finally, communicate and come to a place of joint destiny. See where the both of you would like to be together. You should have personal goals and joint goals. When you sit down together and map this out, both of you will take ownership which will double the chances of it coming to pass.
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