I Made A Mistake Breaking Up With My Boyfriend — I Shouldn’t Have Broken Up With Him

Kelly Lacey
7 min readAug 23, 2021

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Photo by Molnár Bálint on Unsplash

You dumped him and you are now beginning to have second thoughts about your decision and wondering “How can I get my ex boyfriend back?” You now see the good things about him that you never noticed before or took for granted but he is giving you the cold shoulder. You are wondering how to go about winning him back especially if you have tried again and again to no avail.

It is very common for people in a relationship to start to take each other for granted. You may have even stopped spending time with each other and doing things together that you loved doing when the romance was fresh. You cannot remember the last time the two of you have been intimate. His small idiosyncrasies that you thought were cute at the beginning of the relationship started to annoy you. His very breathing annoyed you. Your single gal pal seems to be living the life without needing to report to anyone. You have started to wonder what it would be like to have a fling with that hot bartender.

All the above thoughts and more may have resulted in the boyfriend becoming the ex boyfriend and after a while you realized that you truly had a good thing with your ex boyfriend. Yes your girl pal goes out every night but you now realize that she comes home to an empty house with no one significant to keep her warm on cold lonely nights. The hot bartender just does not treat you as well as your ex boyfriend did. After coming to these various realizations and more, you are now asking “how can I get my ex boyfriend back?”

In order for you to succeed in getting your ex boyfriend back, you will have to realize that it may take some time and you will have to be patient. He has been hurt by you and probably does not trust you with his heart so you will have to prove yourself to him. But the first thing you need to do is that you will need to be sure that your ex boyfriend is who you want and that you have genuine feelings left for him and are not just trying to get him back because you are lonely and that he is not just a comfort zone because you are afraid of being single and alone.

If you are ready to get your ex boyfriend back and to do so for the right reasons, you will need to work with him. Try to become friendly with him again especially if he is still angry and bitter towards you and what you did to him which is perfectly understandable. Take baby steps to rebuild the relationship.

Ask him out to dinner. Wear that dress of yours that he loves and wear his favorite perfume. While you want to take baby steps with him, you also want to remind him why he fell for you in the first place. Begin by apologizing for your behavior if you ever hope to get your ex boyfriend back.

One of the key steps to help you answer the question “how can I get my ex boyfriend back?” is to admit your mistakes without blaming him. Blame your decision on dumping him on your short sightedness, job stress, hormones, etc, but not on him. You are the one who wants him back so you need to build him up and not tear him down by mentioning how annoyed you were with him and his habits, or how bored you were with him, how he was not a hot bartender, etc.

Take this time to genuinely appreciate who he is and compliment him genuinely. If he feels good every time that he is around you, he will want to spend more and more time with you so do not be stingy with the compliments. Make sure to always look your best around him. If you need to lose a few pounds, change your wardrobe, hair style, etc, do it.

Talk about the good times that you had with him. Let him know that you have changed but you will have to back it up with actions because he has to see that you have changed. Let him know that the time apart truly opened your eyes and you now realize what a good thing you had with him and that he is the only man you want in your life.

One thing to remember is that he may not automatically take you back in his arms because he may still be mistrustful of you. You will have to be willing for him to be honest with you about how he felt about being dumped by you especially if he felt it came out of nowhere and he had no warning that you were unhappy in the relationship.

He may have many questions that he will need answers to from you and may need to vent for a while. Keep calm and do not voice any frustrations and start to accuse him otherwise you will lose any chance of getting back with your ex boyfriend. Really listen to him and what he has to say. You really hurt him and you have to own that.

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I made a mistake breaking up with my boyfriend: I shouldn’t have broken up with him.

Do you worry that you’ll never be able to get your ex back? What makes you so sure that you’re never going to be able to get your ex boyfriend back? You say that you “hope” that you can get him back but how are you acting these days? Are you acting like you have the confidence in your love and the love that lies buried in your ex boyfriend’s heart for you? Or are you a mess these days as you take the advice of friends and family that tell you ridiculous things like that you should let him go or learn to move on?

But You Love Him — This might be your response to those that tell you to just move on… that you’re better off without him or those that think that your ex didn’t treat you well in the first place. You may have even stopped telling people that you hope to get your ex back. Your desire to win him back is your secret desire while your pillow is wet with your tears every night.

Love is an amazing thing and not something to be thrown away. It is not a decision but a feeling; an emotion that takes hold of us and demands to be heard. Shouting louder than the voice of reason and tearing at your soul until you admit to its presence and bow to its will. You simply can’t give your love to another, can you?

Your Fear — Your fear strikes that your ex really has moved on or perhaps he will soon. After all, he is a man and men have needs. Maybe you even fear and doubt that he ever loved you in the first place and all that was between you was but a lie. Your fears dash your hopes and in light of your fragile state you admit defeat and try to find a way to move on. But you can’t! No matter what you do, he is there with you. Memories of loving times spent together and the love that you shared beckon that you must at least try to get him back.

But What About Love — Your love for your ex wells up in your heart urging you to push forward and do something; anything to get him back. You crave his touch and you pray that he might just come knocking on your door with tears in his eyes begging you for another chance. You know that in his heart there is still love and that there must be a way to tear down that wall that he has built to keep you out.

The truth is that love never dies and sometimes it is necessary to destroy before something truly beautiful can be built. Such can be the case with you and your love. The pain may be intolerable at times and you might feel like quitting but the reward of his love can make it all worthwhile as the spark of your love together bursts to flame. But you have to want it and you must persevere to get him back.

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