Is My Ex Hurting Too — Does My Ex Hurt As Much As Me

Kelly Lacey
8 min readAug 19, 2021

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If you’ve just recently broken up with your partner, it can be a confusing time for both of you. Looking back, you may wish you’d done things differently before it was too late. Your heart is broken and you cannot get them out of your head, because you still care for them deeply, but do they feel the same way, and are there signs your ex still loves you?

If they’re on your mind constantly and you miss them dearly, chances are that they feel the same way, even if they try their best to hide it. Sometimes the more they try to pretend that they’re okay, the more hurt they really are inside. This is one of the signs that they still love you and want you back.

If you love them, then you need to know if they feel the same way. Every time they talk to you, they give you signs as to how they feel about you, whether they realise it or not. Some of these signs are genuine, while others are false, so it’s important not to act on them until you’re sure, as it may push them away.

But what if the siren-call of a long lost love seems less of a fantasy and more of a reality? Sure, obsessing over an ex who’s clearly moved on is a probably not a smart idea. But what if it seems, against all odds, that you’re ex is still interested? Then maybe, just maybe, we’re dealing with a horse of a different color. Let’s count down the five signs that your ex still loves you:

5.) Sudden, unsolicited re-surfacing. You haven’t heard from your ex in ages. In fact, you can’t even recall their full name (at least not with some difficulty). And then suddenly, a strangely familiar number shows up on your phone. No mistake about it: an ex’s attempt to connect with you, especially after a drawn out period of separation, often indicates a desire to re-kindle past romance. You might jump at the opportunity to grab a quick drink and re-connect. However, be wary. If your ex just ended a relationship, you may be part of a less desirable scenario: rebound!

4.) Gifts, gifts, gifts! Okay, so maybe you and your ex are still close. And sure, maybe you occasionally pick up a small token for your ex on their birthday/Christmas/what have you. However, if Valentine’s Day roles around and you find yourself with a thoughtful, expensive, or unexpected ex-sent gift, something else may be going on. Many people express their feelings through presents, and if a gift is meant to deliver a significant meaning, it’s often easy to tell. Jewelry, clothes, home-made food, or anything else with specific personal appeal may indicate a renewed romantic interest. And if you receive roses, forget about it.

3.) Your friend is my friend. Many times, instead of out re-connecting with you, an ex may reach out to a member of your inner circle. Mutual friends are often less intimidating to an ex and provide a direct informational path right to you. Through a mutual friend, an ex can indicate renewed interest or remorse over a past break-up. So if your best gal pal mentions a surprise run-in with Mr. Ex, and endorses how “truly sorry he seemed,” something may be up. However, mutual friend/ex relationships can sometimes be a gray area. Be sure to clarify exactly what communication went on and the tone of the interaction to be certain that your ex is truly trying to make a connection with you.

2.) Touchy-feely. Probably one of the creepier indications that your ex may still be interested, you’ll know this sign right off the bat: that ex can’t keep their hands to themselves. They jump on the opportunity to hug, maybe even plant a peck on the cheek and as the night wears on, Ex seems stuck on you like a a bad smell. Whether or not this is affection is desirable, make sure if you plan to re-kindle a relationship with a past love you don’t start it out solely on a physical level. Sleeping with an ex after a night of brief reconnection can lead to a vicious cycle of booty-call mayhem. Unless, of course, that’s what you’re looking for…

1.) “Let’s Get Back Together!” Alright, this may not be the most common sign that your ex still loves you, but it is unmistakable and clear. If your ex stages a seemingly thought-out, sincere, and heart-felt bid to win you back, take notice. This sign may take the form of a (1) letter, (2) phone call, (3) personal confrontation, or, the even less common (4) playing of a stereo outside your bedroom window.

Now, whether or not you’ve been dreaming of this scenario for decades or it comes as an unwelcome surprise, there’s a few things you’ll want to note. If your previous break-up involved a major romantic faux pas (ie your ex cheated on you), their declaration had sure as hell better include some solid groveling. Even if this isn’t the case, a declaration of continuing love requires some thought on your part. However romantic this encounter may be, if starting up a past relationship is something you might actually want to do, a serious sit-down with a discussion of past mistakes and relationship issues is required before you can move forward.

Now you can stop your break up or lover’s rejection…even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit Ex Back Secrets

Is my ex hurting too: Does my ex hurt as much as me.

After you’ve been dumped there are lots of theories about how to win your ex back. The vast majority of them include playing childish head games with your ex. They neglect to tell you that when you mess with another person’s head just to win them back, you’re in uncertain territory for creating a solid relationship that will endure the test of time after you’ve gotten back together. This article shares with you the ‘no games’ way of winning your ex back.

When you two were dating each other, you got dozens of texts everyday. Now your phone isn’t buzzing at all. Make sure you don’t overdo it, but you can call your ex about once a week just to ‘see how they’re doing’. This will keep the door for reconciliation open to you.

Be sure not to miss the important days, like their birthday. It wouldn’t hurt to send a card or a small gift either. These things keep you on the mind of your ex when you trying to win them back.

Use email to keep in touch. If you run across a story or some information that your ex would be interested in, send it along with a short note. If you send emails to a group with a particular interest, include your ex on the list, too. Try not to do this too often. You don’t want to be viewed as a nuisance.

Don’t play the ‘make your ex jealous’ game. If you’re serious about winning your ex back, don’t date other people and definitely don’t sleep with anyone else. Some advice says that you can flirt with your ex’s friends or other people where your ex can see you. That might work initially in getting your ex back, but it won’t help you if you’re trying to stay together for a long time.

Try not to be jealous when/if you see her dating someone else. If your ex is the one who called it quits, they’re entitled to check out some other offers. Since you want to get them back, you don’t want to do that. You must display a singleness of heart. Use the information about the types of people your ex is dating to work in your favor. You might see that your ex is interested in something that you’re not being. Your ex might want a trendy dresser who has ‘off-standard’ interests. If you dress more for comfort than for style, you may not be offering what your ex interested in.

Or if you’re the ESPN type who likes wings and beer but she’s dating more creative people, like artists, musicians, or poets, you might need to expand your interests and see what the other worlds have to offer in order to win your ex back.

Take some time to analyze your ex. Their actions are speaking. Now that your emotions and feelings aren’t involved, you should be able to see things clearer. Try to ascertain what your ex wants in a mate. Read into what they’re saying and what they’re not saying.

Don’t do things to shift the power away from you too much. Spilling out your heart to your ex gives them all of the power then they’re in the position to dictate the future. Let your ex know that you want them back. Make that plain, but don’t put all of your cards out there. You need to keep your own power for when you re-connect. If your ex has it all then they’ll keep it after you get back together.

While you are apart from your ex, work on you. Work on your mind as well as your body. Go to the gym regularly and consider updating your overall look — perhaps with a new haircut and some fresh duds. Spend time working on improving yourself. Changing in these different areas will catch your ex’s attention in a positive manner.

The crux of this entire article, is that you can seek to win your ex back by playing childish head games or you can spend that energy trying to fix the problems that were in your relationship. Working on the problems will build a solid foundation for your future. Whether you get your ex back or not you’ll be a better person.

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